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Question
Posted by: Tiger | 2005/12/07

Want a child.

I am 38 and my husband is 42 it is both's second marriage.

He does not want anymore kids and I have none. Never felt like I'd want to have one with any man especially my ex husband because he was a loser.

I want to fall pregnant by accident.

Would this really be such a bad idea?

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Our expert says:
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Yes, it would. I understand that you seem to have changed you mind and now want a child --- but remember that at your age, falling pregnant might not be easy, and that the risk of a whole trange of unpleasant complications in the child, will be significantly higher. And to fall pregnant by accident, will risk much in your relationship, and may be perceived by him as an act of dishonesty and deception. It has to be risky. Can't you discuss this with him, maybe with the aid of some sessions of marriage counselling ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/07

Its a tough call. Being male I am lucky enough not to have the biological clock ticking as you do. I dont have kids, and would dearly love to have them, but I can wait.

As for you, I have a friend who was depserate for children, and she did do the thing of going off the pill. Its her right to have a child, and if her husband did not want one, then that was his problem, not hers. She resolved to fall pregnant, whether he like dit or not, and accepted that in doing so, she would run the risk of losing her husband, and having ot raise the child on her own. She prepared herself, and went ahead and fell pregnant.

Result, husband left her soon after the child was born. But good news is that they are back together now, building their family.

If I was a woman, I would have a child whether the guy likes it or not. But I would also have to accept that I may have to raise the child on my own. Are you prepared to do this, can you do it, doyou have the support structure? Is having a child more important than your marriage?

You have this one chance, and although I am giving my personal decision here simply because I too am as broody as can be, I would say go ahead, have the child. Unlike us guys, time does run out for you. Just be prepared to raise the child on your own, possibly.

Good luck, I wish you loads of fertility!

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