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Question
Posted by: Lolly | 2004/11/10

wanna be a prostitute

I'm a 30 yr old married woman with a 2 yr old son. We've been married for a year now but we have fiancial difficulties.I've got a post grad degree but cannot get decent work. I'm intelligent if I can say so myself but I'm also an introvert. I've seen people I've been with at varsity , they have progressed in life. They drive nice cars,go on exotic holidays , have nice houses abd i have none of these . I dont know I sometimes think i'm jinxed. Not getting a job I deserve has damaged my self esteem . I started doubting my intellectusl capability even though I know I'm clever.We need money, we're struggling. Yesterday I wanted to boost my morale upa bit , just to make myself feel good. i got into my short mini skirts which i have'nt worn for a while, my nice sexy blouse and high stiletto shoes. I looked myself in the mirror and realised that men would'nt be able to resist a hooker like me. I'm nicely built, beautiful and all. I had a picture of all the othe prostitutes I see around here in CT and I felt that I cannot even compare myself to them I'm way above their league. Which therefore means I can get clients easier. I considered prostituting secretely- My husband should never know. I dont want to lean against poles at night.I'm thinking of putting my details on newspaper and be called upon service whenever needed. My hubby works away from home most of the time therefore I'll have time . I heard on special assignment some time ago that these people make lots of money. I need money and I'm seriously considring doing that.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lolly, surely, if you're even half as intelligent as you say, you must be joking ? You really think it's that simple ? You think the constant risk of STD and HIV, of being beaten up ( or worse ) by clients, would be an enjoyable way to make a good profit ? And how would you explain the extra money to your husband ? And do you really think they regular pimps and prostitutes would welcome your competition ? And when one of the clients turns out to be someone you and your husband knows ? And who will look after your child while Mommy's out prostituting herself ? When your child finds out, as eventually he'she probably will, have you worked how to explain it to him / her ?
Better to sit down with your husband and discuss whatever financial problems you two might have, see how the budget might be trimmed, and maybe look for a part-time job.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: quickfixx | 2004/11/11

Do you plan to whore yourself with married men as well? I suppose you'd see yourself as a soluiton not a problem. Yuck, ewwww, sies!

Reply to quickfixx
Posted by: minette | 2004/11/11

the sad truth - some of us will never make it to the big league.

i am 34yrs old, also highly intelligent, concidered to be beautiful by my friends and family, take good care of myself. unfortunately, due to family responsibilities, i never had the opportunity to further studies. started out as a receptionist, got promoted and am now a secretary in the same firm. i dont earn a lot of money, i dont even have a car, but i am happy. i earn enough to support myself and my child, we have a roof over our heads and never go to sleep hungry.

i would not be able to live with myself if i had to sell my body (and my soul) for a flashy car and a nice holiday. though, to be quite honest, if i had no other way of earning a living and my child was hungry, i would concider doing it for food!

Reply to minette
Posted by: Lolly | 2004/11/11

Well said guys , thanks for all the advice . As for you Matoto , I would prefer it if you did not judge me they way you did .I am resilient , I can take the pressure , so stop judging me as you do not even know me . I'm very versatile and I come across in all my interviews as a confident person. I just dont get a breakthrough , that's all . We're trying very hard to live within our own salaries. We're now renting a house in Kayelitsha ( township) to cut down on rent costs. We moved out of our flat in Cape Town coz we could not afford, had to take my son out of creche in town into a creche in township because its cheaper and I cant travel with her to town by public transport every morning. Still it's not helping , our house has been burgled twice since we arrived there 8 months ago , and we did'nt have house insurance because we cannot afford it. I dont want anyone to feel pity for me , I'm not that kind of person .

Reply to Lolly
Posted by: Matoto | 2004/11/11

you have done industril psych, you just need to go through Maslow's heirachy of needs and apply them to you, besides what kind of an emplyer would want to emply you as a industrial psyhc or hr manager or psychometrist manager if you cant think outside the box and want to resort to illegal iffy prostitution?

maybe they have long picked that up in the interviews with you that you cannot take pressure, you are not versatile, you are not resilient, you just cannot understand and realise and accept that life has got some pressures, challenges, and stresses. makes me wonder what kind of advice would you give to an employee if you were made a manage and s/he has worse stresses than the ones you go through?

i am not going to beg you not to do your prostitution, maybe that is the kind of a person you are, the type that want to have it easy. unfortunately lady life is tough, just be strong. you want to be a prostitute go to the sexologist forums maybe you will make quick bucks from all those pervert and nymphs in that forum.

Reply to Matoto
Posted by: bush classmate | 2004/11/11

sisi please i know it's you. you have heard everyone's advices. they are true. you wouldnt have asked us if you hadnt realized how true everyone's input her is. i know call center is not a decent workplace. as somebody else suggested that you consider relocating to pretoria i agree. cape town is not a friendly career opportunity to young (black) professionals. i know you did not say you are black hence i am very careful to not make that type of assumption. however johannesburg gauteng may just be a place for you. i can imagine what you guys are going through but you need to keep your dignity and pride. go through the advices given here carefully and slowly. you deserve better but you must challenge the way you approach life now. try to look at reinstating your self-esteem, it has definitely been bruised. that would be the first point for you to work on. thet means seeing a professional help (good career counsellor and good therapist). then you need to work on all your needs and structure as an individual and as a couple and as a family. what are each of your needs/ which needs are met? which needs aren't met? why? how can they be met? then have you got the necessary support structure in place like family support, supportive friends, spirituality(church, meditation, yoga etc), and so forth. then work on how to strengthen those sort of your lifestrategies. do not refuse to accept it when your area of study has reached the saturation point and make a commitment to switch over to another filed. or else consider running your own venture. need i say more people have said quite great things

Reply to bush classmate
Posted by: a.c. | 2004/11/11

For a married & "intelligent" woman with a child, to consider such options - you have to be in a very unstable state of mind! I dont mean this in a judgemental way, but this desparation is very very dangerous. I suggest you seek help. Talk to toll-free lifeline, or go to your church minister.

It's times like these you need to stop complaining and be thankfull for your child & hubby, your health, your shelter, your food, your job & your education...

Believe me Lolly - 50% of SA would regard themselves lucky to be in your shoes. So stop comparing yourself and focus your energies on finding out why you cant get a better job and keep trying for alternatives aswell.
Are you sending enough applications? Are there job prospects for your industry in CT? Good luck

Reply to a.c.
Posted by: other ways | 2004/11/11

Like said above get into baking and sell things at your work over tea times or to a home industry...

look for a saturday/sunday morning job at a jewerly/ gift shop fancy store..ect

Try those work from home business where you can do it in the evenings...

there are so many options.. come on honey dont do this to your little girl!!!!!

Reply to other ways
Posted by: brightness | 2004/11/11

PLEASE DONT MAKE THE WORST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!!!

Listen you know inside of you that this isnt a good option...
not only are you breaking your marrriage vows but you are opening up the posiblity the one day you can/will also get raped and get AIDS (pass it on to your innocent husband) get divorced and LOOSE YOUR CHILD...

Come one I woul d also love an expensive car and nice things myslef but I not going to that level... Life is tough for some and easy for others

Even when you do get those nice things doesnt mean you will be happy inside bec you would have ruine yourself and have all those awful memories of those other men touching you.

NOT WORTH IT!!! be patient and try get another job or start baking for home industires whatever on the side not that!!

Reply to brightness
Posted by: Ultraman | 2004/11/11

Please read some self-help books like "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. If you email me I can send you an electronic copy. You have to change your thinking before you'll find inspiration and the right kind of job.

Reply to Ultraman
Posted by: Matthew | 2004/11/10

You say you want to live decently, what is decently?
So if you get a second hand car it's not decent enough maybe?
If you have financial difficulties, stop paying for things you don't need, surely that's more emotionally profitable than selling your body to the night. Hey Lolly, you don't have to put on the red light - Sting.
I'm glad you're thinking of your daughter's future, but in a way you're not because how happy is your daughter gonna be with nice clothes and a nice college degree but a mom dying of AIDS because she was and maybe still is a prostitute.
Come on Lolly, you are worth way more than to sell yourself short like that, there are plenty of other ways to make money.
How is you're husband gonna feel too? Have you even spoken to him about financial difficulties and making sure you're daughter is happy?? Why not put little pennies together over time and end up with big pennies.
What are you going to say to your friends when they are talking about that prostitute they saw on Jerry Springer??
You know you're smarter than this.
Ciao.

Reply to Matthew
Posted by: NLM | 2004/11/10

Listen to Cybershrink--that is not the way to go. The results will be devastating.

If you are prepared to relocate to PTA as a family, you are welcome to forward your CV and your hubby's as well to me at r dot s dot m at mweb dot co dot za.

To me its important that the family-unit must stay together, that is why i want both CV's

Reply to NLM
Posted by: HS | 2004/11/10

Try something else, anything else.
Have some elegance please, you sound beautiful, so you should act beautiful too.
Don't take the easy road, how did the people with big fancy lifestyles get there... most of them worked their a..sses off. Any celebrity even had to work hard to get to where they're at. They only make it look easy at the top, but it wsn't easy getting there.
Strive to work hard, be enthusiastic and do not give up! Please don't give up on yourself and your elegance.
I wish you the best.

Reply to HS
Posted by: Lolly | 2004/11/10

I completed my first degree in 1996 and worked as a clerk . I thought studying further would increase my chances of getting a good job , so I did my honours degree and finalised it in 2000. Still no luck the only job I could get was a "call centre agent" job which was very stressful as I had to call clients and convince them to buy our products. They shouted at me, insulted me and all sorts of things. I applied for another student loan via vasrity and thought maybe let me study even further . I did my masters in Industrial Psychology which I have now finalised. I am registered with the HPCSA as a psychometrist but still no luck. I apply for post , get shortlisted and dont get the job,I have a very positive attitude , warm personality , it's not that I put the interviewers off , no , I'm sure of that . I try my outmost best to sell myself but still do not succeed. I'm still stuck in the call centre earning money on commission and I'm not making a lot of money so is my husband. I know about AIDS off course I'd take the necessary precautions. I need money so I can save for my daughter's studies and live a decent life . i dont wanna drive a Merc or BMW or expensive cars I want to be able to live comfortably ( even an UNO will do ) but I must be able to afford a decent car ,decent house and decent life . Off course this is not something I;ll do forever. I;ll do it just to get my head out of the water and save enough to keep us going. I know this may sound absurd to some of you , but please dont doubt my intelligence I am indeed an intelligent woman .

Reply to Lolly
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/10

Hi Lolly
Yes, it would be great to have the kind of money that classy prostitutes make, but thinking about it and actually going through with it is quite hectic. You will be placing yourself in all sorts of danger. Strange men who may easily abuse you and sometimes force you to do really degrading things. Don't sell your soul to the devil. Use your energies more constructively... there must be something else out there for you to do? Even if it's not what you are qualified to do... there will always be people to meet who can possibly open up other opportunities for you.

Reply to Inc
Posted by: S | 2004/11/10

i think her child would have more respect for a mother begging on the street than selling herself on the street. I know I would. Anyway she is highly intelligent remember so she could get a job.

Reply to S
Posted by: LF | 2004/11/10

She does have a job. she now wants flashy cars and the luxuries.

Go study part time so that you can get a better job.

Reply to LF
Posted by: Chick | 2004/11/10

Dont you get it ?? she is doing it to be able to support her child at least she is not begging on the street ??

Reply to Chick
Posted by: S | 2004/11/10

If you are so intelligent (as you put it) then how could you possibly consider doing something like this??
What about your child, maybe you should quit feeling sorry for yourself and get a proper job.
How can you want to be deceitful behind your hubby's back
Do you want to bring your child up with lies and deception?
What sort of example are you setting.
You need to take a very close look at yourself and dont run down the other prossies by saying you are way above their league cos quite clearly you are not

Reply to S
Posted by: LF | 2004/11/10

You should also know that their job comes with a lot of buggage and it is ILLEGAL. You might end in jail and what would your kid say about you. At times like these you need to have faith and count your blessings.

Think about the consequences of your actions. What is money when you have no dignity?

Reply to LF

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