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Question
Posted by: Secret | 2008/01/08

Wana have a baby at 16

hey...
Im a 16 yr old lady and would love for a child now.i am in a settled relationship and we have been talking about getting married.is it abnormal to want a baby at the age of 16 and is it dangerous for me or the baby

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGynaeDoc

I hope that the other respondents have helped. From the medical point of view there are increased risks of pre-eclampsia, anaemia, growth restriction and sometimes the pelvis being too small for normal birth, with a teenage pregnancy.

Best wishes

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17
Our users say:
Posted by: Funky | 2008/01/18

Hey

I'm 26 years old now - I was 16, in love and thought my relationship would last forever...... well at 16 I had a baby, got married etc..... & guess what the father left me for a skinny sixteen year old when I was pregnant with our second baby, I lost the baby due to stress!!!! I was divorced at 21 and dumped with the full responsibility of raising a child on my own... I had to deal with my childs heartbreak and dissapointment at his family being broken as well as my own trauma!!!! That really sux when you are stuck at home ALONE while all your friends are out partying and having a goodtime.... There is nothing attractive about a teenager with a baby on the hip and baby puke on the front of your top or a two year old throwing a tantrum in the shopping mall while your trying to look "cool" when your old skinny, hot school friends walk past. I fantasized about how wonderfull a baby would be the problem is at 16 you don't fantasize about the reality that comes with a baby. Hope you think about this very carfully. Its not just your heart that could get broken but also your childs.

Reply to Funky
Posted by: secret | 2008/01/11

thank you ME your message helped me alot...
again i just wanna sayy thank youto everyone that tried to help and even when wasnt reading this,the message still hang around in the back of your mind,thinking what is this gonna put her up for..
HEHE....
Thanks again i really do appreciate it!

Reply to secret
Posted by: me | 2008/01/10

you might have a good job and I am sure your boyfriend will be very supportive. Have the baby when you have finished your partying. Leaving a baby in someone elses care so you can go 2 party is not fair on the child. I am 37 and waited till my partying was done before i had a child(he is only 2) you have till 35 to safely have your first child(so i was told) dont rush things, enjoy life, do things, go places. Go on an overseas trip. Once you have a baby, you will find that you are not always financially able to do all those things. If you still feel you want to have one, no-one can stop you. It is still your choice no matter what anyone says. I do however feel you should wait a few years. I never wanted children, but I understand how you feel cause after giving birth to my son, i cant imagine life without him. But remember i enjoyed my life first before i made that decision. Be fair to yourself and the child

Reply to me
Posted by: secret | 2008/01/10

geez lucy no need to get catty...
but anyway thanks again everyone...and lucy i do have a good education and job...i did my schooling through college and have a high ranked job..
Thanks butterfly...maybe i should leave it in gods hands im sure he'll handle it...

Reply to secret
Posted by: lucyfire | 2008/01/09

You can't possibly have a good education or job at age 16. You're obviously an idiot. Like the world needs one more of those...

Reply to lucyfire
Posted by: fg | 2008/01/09

Not to be nosy but what is your definition of a good job and fully educated? Girlfriend having a child is a huge responsibility as everyone has pointed out. It is expensive and very stressful. Experience life first

Reply to fg
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/01/09

I know how you feel but its up to you its your life decide whats best for you. I am 25 years old now not married & no children. I have a terrific boyfriend & we plan on marrying end of this year. I still have a yearning for a baby but Ive matured & grown over the years & Im happy I waited, my advice to you is keep on praying make sure your boyfriend wont let you down if you do decide to have a baby. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Reply to butterfly
Posted by: secret | 2008/01/09

this year il be 17 and my boyfriend 23.we are gonna get married hopefully end of this year...i work as a lawyer's secetary in town.
i thought i made my mind up but now i am doubting my decision...
i just wanted to say thank you butterfly for all your advise and thanks to every one else...
the reason why i posted this topic was because i wasnt sure if it is normal to be thinking (at my age) what i am...
i know people are thinking im crazy and i should enoy my young teenage life,but something inside me tells me that im settled down already...
Why am i confused?
thanks again

Reply to secret
Posted by: Nelly | 2008/01/09

Hi Secret
It looks like you've made up your mind about the baby issue & not sue why you want other opinions. The choice is yours as you'll be all alone 2 face the music once the situation has turned around, 4 ur sake I pray & trust that you know what you are wishing 4. I wonder what kind of a job do u do that makes u think u are stable. Your peers dream of being highly educated & driving Q7. while u want stay at home & be a mother which is not an easy task. I'm not judging you but keep in mind that men are untruthful & passing days will never return.....

Reply to Nelly
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/01/09

how old is your boyfriend? Why dont you get married first?

Reply to butterfly
Posted by: JAYZEE | 2008/01/09

HEY, I AM 31 & HAVE A JOB AND IS MARRIED. I HAD A BABY A YEAR AGO. I FINISHED SCHOOL, WENT TO COLLEGE AND WORKED HERE AND THERE. PARTIED A AND FINALLY SETTLED DOWN. I ENJOYED MY YOUTH TO THE FULLEST. MY BABY KEEPS ME SO OCCUPIED NOW, THAT I DON;T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE.
YOU NEED TO BE MENTALLYAND PHYSICALLY STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE ON SUCH A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY. FIRST BE A TEEN AND FIND YOURSELF ENJOY LIFE AND THEN AFTER YOU DID ALL OF THAT, SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE YOUR BABY WHEN YOU OLD ENOUGH, RESPONSIBLE AND FINANCIALLY STABLE TO DO SO ON YOUR OWN. GOOD LUCK WITH FINDING YOURSELF.

Reply to JAYZEE
Posted by: secret | 2008/01/09

hey all...(AGAIN)
let me explain this probably..
I am fully educated and do have a GOOD job...
I am responsible and independant.If i should have a Child now ,y fiance would not run away or leave me behind,he would rather support me all the way...
yes i know it sounds wierd me wanting a child at such a young age,but i dont see anything wrong with it...
I would love it just like any other mother would and maybe even take better care of it...
its feels like a hollow space in me and only a child could fill that hollowness...
Maybe i am abnormal to want a child so badly now but everything just feels so right about it...
it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about my life with out one...
i would like to know why i feel this way and if its normal...
Please somebody help me

Reply to secret
Posted by: Zoe | 2008/01/09

i had a baby whem i was 16 and it was nice coz they did everything for me, but boyfee will leave you and look for fully figured girls. In a long run is not nice coz you dont enjoy life to the fullest as a teen and your first pay coz you have to think for a baby too. So mt sister dont,study and work udli imali yakho.

Reply to Zoe
Posted by: Izan | 2008/01/08

what if your bf leaves you with the baby. And it is ALWAYS a possibility. If you can afford to raise the child by yourself then go for it. But chances are you are uneducated and don't have a job. You shouldn't be breeding. PERIOD

Reply to Izan
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/01/08

hi

believe it or not I was just like you, I wantd a baby at a young age but I wondered how will I take care of it. The yearning & longing for a baby was overwhelming but then I realised theres so much that life has to offer me & although nothing could fill that empty feeling of having a baby I understood that in time I would be able to have a baby and also be able to give it even more than what I got as a little child at a young age you unable to take care of a baby & thats the main reason you should wait so someday you & your baby could have a fantastic life. Best Wishes

Reply to butterfly
Posted by: Don't | 2008/01/08

Its normal to look forward to having child one day, but at 16 you still have so many great life experiences to look foward to. Not only that, but at 16 you do not (despite you thinking otherwise) even know how you are completley as a human being.
Please remeber having a baby is a huge responsiblity, at 16, how do you plan to feed it, clothe it and educate it.

There are so many needy and helpless unwanted babies and children in the world. Why not go and volunteer at a home close to you and help with orphaned babies? I did it for may years and it was a truly rewarding experience.

Do that at least until you're in a better position to raise, nuture and look after a child.

Reply to Don't
Posted by: Older and wiser | 2008/01/08

Hi
I dont believe your body would be the problem. Your life changes dramatically after having a baby and you are still so young. Enjoy your life as a young adult before having a baby, that way there are no regrets later in life. If your relationship is as stable as you say it is then waiting wont matter!

Reply to Older and wiser

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