Our expert says:
Well, when you met her, however nice she was, you knew she has a bf, even if an unsatisfactory one, so you could have expected problems ahead. And remember, men and women, sometimes complain about their spouse or bf/gf even if none of their complaints are real, to excuse geting into an affair with someone else. Sometimes they get involved with you deliberately in order to make the other partner jealous.
You are absolutely right, that she needs to end that relationship ( if she wants to ) and needs to fully get over it, before she'll be emotionally free to have any genuine relationship with anyone else, including you. And that takes time and work on her side, and isn't done within days or weeks of ending the other relationship.
Its sensible for you to recognize this and to make it clear to her - but its up to her either to choose to stay with her bf, maybe se a cpuples counsellor, and work on getting things right ; or to leave him, and finish the emotional tidying up to thoroughly get over him, before thinking of a relationship with anyone else. And you can't do that for her ; the decisions and the work have to be done by her.
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