Our expert says:
Taking the pain away is, indeed, not possible, and might not altogether be useful. What one needs in this tragic situation is someone who is reliable and sympathetic as a LISTENER. So many people stay away from a friend in need because they can't think of the magical marvellous things they want to be able to say ; when what is most needed is someone who will listen when one wants to speak, and just sit companionably in silence when one doesn't wish to speak, and who will be available to perhaps help, if asked, with some of the chores and tasks of dealing with any tragic death. Someone who wont be horrified if they cry.
If things dont start to improve mildly ( it takes many months to work through any major grief ) then the help of an experienced counsellor should be recommended.
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