Our expert says:
Firstly, this is extremely annoying for you, but don't even remotely think of suicide because someone else is smoking. I know smoking is bad for one's health, and second-hand smoking is bad for the companions of a smoker --- but suicide as an effect of second-hand smoke, is not a risk generally reported. Maybe if you'd lighten up just a bit, and be lessg rim, she might not light up so often.
Your story perhaps demonstrats the extent to which smoking really is addictive, and the extent to which someone will make it more important in their life than even a loving relatonship, and be prepared to lie and cheat in order to maintain their relationship with the cigarette.
It IS possible for anyone to stop smoking, witn the proper motivation and advice and assistance. She should not rely on quacky remedies sold over-the-counter, as none are effective and all are exploitatively expensive. She should see a shrink for a proper asessment of her vulnerabilities and strengths, and to plan a rational plan to stop smoking, probably using an aid like the nicotine patches, to help her withdraw from the addictive nicotine component more readily. But that is only if she wants to stop for her own bnefit and her own reasons, otherwise nothing woks. And if she really doesn't want to, then be prepared to break up with her, and wait to find a similarly nice woman who is a devoted non-smoker, rather than continue struggling to coerce this lady to give it up.
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