Our expert says:
I hope she is being seen by a hospice / Palliative care specialist from the nearest Hospice or through the National Cancer Association, as pain control ought to be possible. And everything possible should be done to assess and control that pain, because apart from the unpleasantness of the pain in itself, as you note, it dominates everything else and prevents her from using or even enjoying more of the time she has, as she becomes pre-occupied with being "in pain".
Similarly, a good palliative care tam could help with appetite and other symptoms. It is very likely that she could be better cared for within a hospice ; and would be more at peace there, and more able to enjoy visits from friends.
And they can also provide a counsellor or even an enlightened shrink, to deal with her sense of guilt and punishment.
I share Lola's thoughtful comments, having nursed my late mother for her last 2 years, and a struggle that grew increasingly grim. There is always room for regrets, but at least if you do all you can,you can treasure the time that is available for both of you
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