Our expert says:
Its really nothing to do with hormones, but a lack of an orderly and fairly applied, clear system of disciplinary rules.
Don't give in to her demands, she's behaving like a spoiled brat, and its best to nip this in the bud. Spoiling is a form of child abuse.
LET her "go on and on" and ignore it totally, making it clear that her nagging will be ignored and will not result in her getting what she wants. Between you two parents, draw up a list of simple rules of conduct and expectations, including chores to be done by her, and pleasant behaviour. Have a list of consequences ( not punishments ) for breaking the rules, including removing her access from whatever she most enjoys ( such as cellphone or TV access ) ; and a system of rewards for consistent good behaviour. And apply these rules impartially, with no exceptions, and in the same way by both of you.
Don't find her a job - that's HER task, and if she finds it she's less able to reject it frivolously. And remind her jobs are not expected to be fun, but actual work. Don't pay for someone to go to the mall with her or to job interviews. That;s something she WANTS, not something she NEEDS. If the job's within safe walking distance - let her walk.
Shecan only make issues out of things IF you allow her to do so. When she starts, just walk away and ignore her. If she has the cheek to tell you to chill, tell her you don't know how to - would she please demonstrate. FOr a month or two.
Room a pig-sty ? No food, no cell-phone, till it's tidy. Simple. It works
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