Posted by: Matsie | 2009/02/17

Useless husband

I' ve been living with the fatehr of my 2 children for the past 15 years. He took a severence pckage 18 years ago and sat at homke while I worked for him for 5 years. He got a joband worked for 2 years then he got fired for negligence. Last year he got a much better paying job but started to do the very same thing he did with the other jobs, he stays away from work for about 4 days in a weeek and going back giving them lame excuses. Lat week he was summoned to a hearing which he did not attend meaning that he just absconded so here I am all over again. He does not pay for any in the house and does not support me finanacially or emotionally and he does nothing at home when i arrive from work i find dirty dishes and the bed is not made up. I actually dont love him anymore but im just sticking around for the sake of our children and the fact that i earn a very low salary i can tmove away from him. Kindly advise .

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like he effectively just gave up after the severance package. His recent behaviour you describe is pathetic, and sounds like a guy who actually wants to get fired. Like MT, I wonder what he is doing with all this extra time. And like Jane, I wonder if you truly can't afford to move away from him --- looking after yourself would surely be sheaper than paying for him as well ? Then you reveal that he is an alcoholic, borrowing moeny to pay for his habit. Ultimatum time --- he joins AA and goes to a government clinic to come off the booze totally, or you move out and leave him to fend for himself

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Our users say:
Posted by: Get going | 2009/02/17

Here is another who has picked up a worthless piece of crap who dares to call himself a man and a husband. Please dont use the kids as an excuse for staying on in this nowhere marriage of yours. You will surprise yourself with your inner strength when you make up your mind to get going. There is lots of help out there for you, but you have to do it on your own. Don' t delay !!!

Reply to Get going
Posted by: Matsie | 2009/02/17

He stays away from work and drinks the whole day then he goes around borrowing money to buy alcohol from cash loans and at the end of the month he has to spend his whole salary paying the loan scharks.

Reply to Matsie
Posted by: Jane | 2009/02/17

You cant afford to move away from him, yet you have supported him financially for 15 out of the last 18 years. You' re married in common law, so you still have maintenance rights

Reply to Jane
Posted by: MT | 2009/02/17

How was he like b4, what is he doing when he stays away from work 4 days, just find out de root cause of his behaviour, its better to work with the facts. If u could work for him &  de kids then u can stand on ur own.

Reply to MT

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