Posted by: old but not yet cold | 2008/09/11

useless and utterly worthless

Nearing the big 50 feeling utterly useless and worthless. there are never words of encouragement or praise to anything I do or even a little compliment at home. At work I made a mistake and the person it affected financially was gracious and kind and said that it was Ok for me to fix it. I so expected to be chastised that his response made me burst into tears ( no one was around) but now I have an almighty headache and feel like I just want to curl up and not have to do anything I mean anything. Don' t want to go home and cook supper or ironing, just want to lie down and not wake up. Yet I feel guilty at having these thoughts as honestly speaking I am blessed. I have a home to go to, I have food to eat and a lovely warm bed to sleep in every night when so many people don' t have what I have. What on earth can I do to find my joy, my peace,

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Our expert says:
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SO you're feeling vulnerable even to relatively minor set-backs ? Are you basically worried that you may be less a ble and less competent than you used to be, so that this specific incident aroused fears of being unable to cope with a job you're probably very well able to do ? Seeing a counsellor might help you get this all back into perspective. And interesting that you presumably expected the worst from the person who had the problem, and were in a way more upset at him being nice about it than if he'd been nasty --- as though you yourself were so sure you deserved his wrath ?

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