Posted by: Kelly | 2009/03/26

Urgent relationship advice needed

I have been in a relationship for about 9 years. We broke up in 2007 becoz I cheated on him and got back together again with him and I fell pregnant the same year.Towards Feb 2008 we moved in together and thingz just worse. Weekends he never use to be at home but at night he use to come home drunk. We used to fight all the time and would talk about it but the same stuff use to happen evey single weekend I gave birth to a beautiful girl in September 2008 and he claimed that it is not his child I was hurt at the stage coz I am not the type os person that can lie for the rest of my life- seeing that it would have been someone else' s baby. We share two children together

She now looks just like him and he accepted that the baby is his.In the interim we became very distant towards each other so cold

He doesn' t make time for us he is never at home and I have tried talking to him but he doesn' t seem to listen. He told me that he can' t commit because of his family etc but forgets that we are also his family.We had a talk the other night need he said that he loves me but not in a way that I want to be loved. I told him that I want to move out but he doesn' t want me to. I cheated on him for the same reason why we are having problems now and we took each other back because we love each other.

He doesn' t talk to me about his feelings and if we have problems only when he is drunk than it comes up obviously that it' s to late to fix the problem

I still love him very dearly and I don' t want to break up with him and that is the question that I sked him if we should break up and he couldn' t answer me...

What do I do?? Tried talking he doesn' t listen...Is it a sign that he loves someone else more than he loves me??? Do I walk away?? I am very confused...Do I just take the kidz and move away from him?? Need advice

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Our expert says:
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This sounds rather a chaotic life-style, and needlessly so. Why did you never see a marriage counsellor together ? Your attempts at talking this through together on your own are not working --- work together with an expert and see what can be sorted out

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Our users say:
Posted by: Soul | 2009/03/26

You need to look hard at you relationship with him and ask yourself if you are truely happy in it, is it a place where you want to be where you want your children to be. if it' s not then you need to consider moving on with you life and be happy.

I' ll be honest with you the question you asked him about if you should break up and him nt responding would have sent me packing long ago. You know the saying no answer is as good as one.
Don' t subject yourself to this or your kids to this you guys deserve so much more.
Think with your head not your heart follow your gut it never lets you down.

Reply to Soul

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