Our expert says:
We've been through this poblem several times before. The big problem with snooping, or even acidentally discovering an incriminating email or SMS, is that the guy who is i the wrong is able to stir up dust by complaining of the snooping, avoiding discussion of his transgression.
ut in this case, surely you can frankly say --- I was looking for that email about X, and to my horror I accidentally came upon these other emssages -- what's going on ? " Then again, as French suggests, you ca try that ancient woman tactic which mystifies and infuriates men ---" A woman just knows these things", or "I received an anonymous phone call"... Either way, you could confront him and see how he reacts --- and don't let him deflect ths discussion into debates about how you knew --- if he was faithful and honest, there would be nothing for you to know. If he's apologetic and prepared to do something serious about it, including marriage counselling, maybe he and the mariage is salvable.
And we have checked before, yes, there are some decent men out there. But people don't tend to write to the forum and complain that they've just discovered that their husband is an awfully nice man !
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