Posted by: SUGABABES | 2008/05/27


I am 22, married for 1 year and have a baby of 8 months.
Last night my husband confessed to me that he is on drugs(tik) and that he hates lying & hurting me all the time. Me & his mother had suspicions that he is using, but was waiting for him to confess & for his mother to buy the test.
We both used to catch on nonesence, but i decided to stop 3 years ago, out of my own. Due to the death of my first baby.
He starting using when he was 16 already, but i was under the impression that he stoped with me after our baby passed away.
The first time he confessed(before we were married), he was crying hesterically, and broke the lolly in front my eyes.It was the hardest thing that i had to deal with.
This is the first time he confessed again, after our baby was born.
I told him, what would make me happy is that he must go to rehab and try his best to get his life on track.because i love him so much, i cant take being dissapointed all the time. I am a very strong person, as much as i love him and want our family to work, i will move out to my parents.
I noticed that he gets violent too.
I am so dissapointed that he did this to me.He told me not to give up on him, he dont want to lose me & his baby Girl.
Things havent been so happy in our household(we staying with his mother), we have so many expenses and dont even have enough food in the house and on top of that, he hasnt been working for 2 weeks.I was very upset that he didnt go work and it turns into a big fight! we have major money problems and then he makes it worse by not working for his family! Im the one that is constantly working.Ive spoken to him, before he confessed.I was extremely upset with him for not working, and i told him i wasnt brought up that way for struggling with our money problems.He was in tears most of the time.
His sister is also in rehab, his sister has 2 babies and not married.
I need help for myself too.It is affecting me a lot!

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Our expert says:
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The violence is especially unacceptable. I feel you should consider going to stay with your own family until he can get into rehab and sort himself out. He can't expect you to keep accepting his brief stopping of drug use, followed by yet another return to it. If he isn't working, where is he getting the money to pay for his drug habit ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: SUGABABES | 2008/05/27

thanks dee.

he is at a rehab centre, im willing to give him a chance(only for the fact that he is willing to get of those drugs)
I will have to see how it goes, i did make it clear to him that if he loses interest in those rehab sessions, i will leave! I cant stand the pain anymore and it's not only hurting me but for my baby.

Posted by: Dee | 2008/05/27

Hi Sugababes

Your stories just opened old wounds for me.

I to was married at a very young age to a hubby who later confessed that he was using drug.

Although the signs were there before we got married, I turned a blind eyes hoping that he will come around.
Nerveless to say, I got divorced.

Believe me if there was any other option I would have not divorced, but at that stage it was my best and only option.
And today 6 years down the line he is still using drugs.

I gave me life to him, and in the end he chooses the drugs over his wife. (Lucky there was no kids involved)

I’m remarried, and have learned in a marriage you’re responsible for your partner.
When I met my now husband, I was still drinking, and he wasn’t. I decided to stop drinking, when our relationship, was getting serious, cause I've learned, that we so how responsible towards our partners.

I really don’t have any advice for you, all I can say it’s that have a long hard journey to travel now.

Whatever you decided, do whats best for you , and you little one.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.


Reply to Dee
Posted by: wife | 2008/05/27

listen i would get out of that situation right away. You work and earn a living so go and stay with your parents for now and take care of yourself and your baby. Tell him to come back and talk to you when he has sorted his life out. He is an adult responsible for his own actions and you dont need to go down with him.

Reply to wife

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