Our expert says:
How nice to hear from you again, and congratulations on your progress. Keep it up ! Sometimes with a problem like Eating Disorders, the first important aim is to get it under control. Then, as we get used to living with it under control, the disorder itself tends to fade.
You BIG breakthrough is what you describe so well. Recognizing that we are not mind-readers, and that you actually need to tell us what's troubling you. And trusting the shrink, and being honest ( ultimately, the only person you can cheat by not being frank, is yourself ).
But I don't at all like the idea of you hoarding the pills, especially while that evil little voice is suggesting evil uses for them, later. You would be safer without this stash at all. DO discuss this with your shrink. You can try the meds as advised ; if they don't suit you and if after a few weeks, they're not helping, you can then agree with your shrink to stop them.
Yes, you've done well without them. Maybe you might have done even better WITH them --- we can't know, because you didn't try them. Self-sufficiency / independence is an excellent aim --- but truly self-sufficient an independent people USE whatever tools may be helpful in achieving their good aims. With a broken leg, crutches are fine while it's healing, then one puts the crutches in a cupboard, and walks alone. But one doesn't succeed by walking on a broken leg without crutches or plaster !
But more good news at the end of your message ! No more shop-lifting or cutting ! And incrased confidence and assertiveness. Excellent.
Oh, and after the issue rumbled on for 3 days, eventually got my delivery, so I can spend the holidays surrounded by good music !
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