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Question
Posted by: Worried | 2008/01/28

Update

I let him know that if he does not stop calling and coming around I will have no option but to get a court order against him. I also let him know i was going away for the weekend, well I had peace he did not call but his wife called me last night saying he was moody and would not speak to her the whole weekend. Is know blaming her for standing in his way says that things could be ok between us if she was not around, this is worring. His wife does not want me to get a court order she thinks that then her children will find out the truth about my daughter this she can't face at the moment. Maybe if I go away ( holiday)for some time he will get his life sorted out and leave me alone.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe her children deserve to find out the truth, but anyhow, her family must sort out their own affairs, without involving you. He must sort out his life and leave you alone, with the assistance of a court order if necessary.
I fully agree with John's comments

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Posted by: John | 2008/01/29

Get a court order. I'm not sure why you have delayed because, clearly, the problem is not going to solve itself.

Going away for brief periods of time postpones the problem and does not solve it. You will probably find that if he is slapped with a court order, he will suddenly develop a good grip of what he needs to do instead of this pointless fantasy life he is leading. His marital problems, such as they may be, have nothing to do with you and simply clouds the issues.

I'm not clear on how a court order will affect his marriage or the children but tell them both - he and his wife - that you want out of their lives and if there is one more incident then you will get the court order. But do something constructive and positive about this now and stop dilly-dallying as your life is being affected.

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