Our expert says:
Yes, I read it. heavy going in patches, as it is very intense. Writing instead of giving in to destructive urges is always an excellent idea --- ven if nobody else ever read it let alone if they eventually do. Don't let yourself feel too depressed about not going overseas with your friend right now. Overseas is a marvellous place to travel, but not while you are at all unwell. You are doing very well, to judge from your reports. And with some studies under your belt, you could probably benefit even more from such travel in a few years, when you would have a craft that could enable you to work in journalism or the press for a time, and see how others handle it.
At the rate at which you have been describing your progress, maybe by the time your friend returns, she'll be impressed at the progress you will have made by then, and this could even strengthen the friendship.
And you're right, you need to empty out the unpleasant stuff you've been storing, whether by writing or forgetting, or just shrinking it down into proportion, as part of a story that may have been unpleasant at the time, but only the first part of Chapter One. That way, you can remove from the past its capaicty to remain hurtful, while leaving it back there in your library, in case at any future time it might be useful. No point in merely pretending to forget.
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