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Question
Posted by: Kasandra | 2008/06/05

Unsolved Issues

Hi Cybershrink so I have been racking my brain about what to do in my life after a long discussion with my bf last night - His a star and I am very blessed to have such understanding boyfriend. I realised drinking feelings away is def not an option for me anymore - I was going to go and drink but didnt even feel like it had a choco the glown instead :) -

I have realised my body has grown up but my mind is behind even thou I feel lots of things have been resolved nothing has that is where the intimacy problems come in. I dont think about the past but some hectic stuff did happen, date rape cant remember much, almost raped again twice and almost struggled just before being intimate. All these things I think contributed to me not being able to be INTIMATE with a very loving caring boyfriend who expects nothing from me.

I came to the conclusion that maybe even just going to see a professional to discuss these things will help to get it out to really I dont know just try to resolve them. I am also going to phone Kenilworth Clinic and ask them more about there Craving Councelling which is more for people who still have issues with life and relationships.

Lifes curfballs.....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Problems can arise when reality doesn't seem to match the pre-conceived notions we have clung to. If, based on past experiences, we see assume sex to be coercive, or merely a prelude to exploitation and hurt, that's how we will react to it even when with very caring people. I guess part of the process is that when traumatized we as an emergency set up very broad rules, like : "All sex is very risky" which are functional at first in protecting us from a repeat of that hurt. But we need with time to refine those emergency definitions, so that they are less able to "protect" us from good things as well as bad ; to refine what situations with what type of people are risky enough tom warant being avoided, and what are safe enough to proceed with caution.
One of the ways one can use CBT techniques is to recognize and refine those assumptions

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Kasandra | 2008/06/05

S _ my bf knows everything and we deal with my problems together, unfortunately he cant help me with the deep issues i dont even understand

Reply to Kasandra
Posted by: S | 2008/06/05

Well all I can say, coming from a man's point of view, is communicate with your boyfriend as much as possible. Let him know about your feelings of intimacy. I am in a relationship where my girlfriend is not that interested in sex and it's very difficult to be understanding to someone who does not tell you what is wrong or what's going on in her head. So talk to him, tell him what's going on in your head. Also drinking is most certainly not the answer, it just creates more problems than solves them. And there is nothing wrong with seeing someone professional about it either.

Reply to S

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