Posted by: Reasonable wife | 2008/07/31



last year for my birthday I got nothing from my husband, his reason was that since we planning our wedding we cannot afford to buy each other birthday presents. I however bought him a gift for his and his birthday is couple of months after mine.
He however promised that this year will be different. Guess what this year I' m not getting anything either, not a present, not a romantic supper, nothing. His excuse this time that we just bought a house. He is not the kind of guy that will go out of his way to turn a boring night at home to a romantic candle lit one, so i know for sure that the simple things in life, i.e. a bubble bath, dinner that he cooked, or breakfast in bed I' m not going to get.

I' m so hurt by all of this and so jealous when a woman gets flowers or even if I see a couple holding hands.

I' ve drawn up my own conclusion that he simply doesnt love me and that he is just using me for a comfort zone.

Am I being unreasonable?

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Our expert says:
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OK, he's the guy you fell in love with enough to decide to marry him. And apparently he's just not the romantic type, and he IS the responsible type who worries about money matters, which is a valuable characteristic especially in these troubled times. He probably DOES love you, but his way of expressing it is by financially caring for you rather than in the more expressive and romantic ways you are seeking. Discuss this calmly with him, and consider seeing a marriage counsellor together, and this can be sorted out.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Marian | 2008/07/31

I have a hubby just like yours - he simply is not into buying gifts and making special occasions and that made me feel as if he does not care. I once talked to him about it and he explained to me that to him every day is special and therefore he shows his love for me each day by being kind and doing smal little things in and around the house. He asked me if I wanted to feel loved and special only on 2 or 3 days a year or if I wanted to be loved each day. And when Ithougt about it I realised that he is a very good hubby and he really does a lot of small things for me each day - bringing me coffee in bed, opening curtains, making dinner most of the time, going to gym with me and so on.

So I realised that we are 2 different people with different ideas about love and what we want and I accepted that and learned to appreciate the every day things he do. Now I know not to expect anything big on my birthday so that I do not get disappointed, and instead I spoil myself by buying things I want myself and so on.

Maybe your hubby is like that as well?

Reply to Marian
Posted by: ME | 2008/07/31

Why don' t you seat down and talk to him? Express your feelings, and see whats gonna happen.

Reply to ME

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