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Question
Posted by: Me | 2005/12/06

Unloved

We have been together for 9 yrs, have x 2 wonderful children,but I feel unloved.Weve spoken aware theres a problem,says it him and not me but under a lot of stress.I dont want to live like a brother and sister staying together, I want to be with someone wheres theres passion, love, etc.We have sex approx 2 a month.My way to deal with constantly being ignored is to retreat,make sure we dont sit together when at friends, keep busy talking to others, but deep down Im very hurt. I constantly bring up the lack of physical closeness,but he says he is trying but is not a young teen anymore- his 40 and even try and initate sex which lands up in a argument as he is too tired, theres a vibre when we go to bed, its so quite, lie on either side,watch tv, turn over say goodnight, where did the love go.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Marriage counselling ? Surely ! Taht way you have continuign expert advice, a referee, and a setting in which the complex interactions involved here, can be examine and potentially changed

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Friend | 2005/12/06

These postings sound so familiar. In work I come across this often. At the heart of the problem is the modern fast pace world we live in with its financial pressures. People underestimate the impact that stress has on the daily lives of people. The older we get and the longer we are exposed to endless period of stress the more we change as people, we start looking for escapes to the bottle or the cigarette or to drugs and in many cases to sex.

Stress is the cause to many of personal realtiosnship problems at home, people handle stress differently, but what I have found is that people who are gentle on themselves and value themselves and have self esteem handle stress better and handle life better. Be kind to yourself is my only advise, take it calmly, you have nothing to prove, love yourself, surround yourself with positive people.

Reply to Friend
Posted by: Unloved | 2005/12/06

Its got really bad over the last six months or so. He is under a lot of pressure work wise, but when he is socialising with his friends, he is the light of the party, even when talking over the phone. He is a very good father, and gives us everything he can, but the love, its just not there. I know there is noone else but its very lonely to love someone and not have the love back. He is slightly overweight and smokes an incredible amount.

Reply to Unloved
Posted by: sore | 2005/12/06

we have been on and off - for over a year, have no kids and I feel liek this, i ended it last night....dotn knwo if i did the right thing

Reply to sore
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/06

Was this suddenly or developed over a time?

Reply to Jakes

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