Our expert says:

CyberShrink

Dear Donna,
I understand how upsetting this can be, but sadly it's not an uncommon problem with the elderly, especially with old men. It comes to be somehow just beyond them to handle all the housework and self-care that they used to take in their stride. And the further they slip behind, the more they have to face if they'd want to clear up, so they let it slide. As Juzlisen points out, in her very wise comments, many people of his age are not able to fully care for themselves, and may need help of various kinds. If you were brought up to be clean, he was part of that upbringing, and was surely brought up that way, himself. Imagine the sadness of not feeling able to keep up to your own standards. Talk with him about it, sympathetically and pleasantly, sugesting that it is looking increasingly a if he's fnding it really hard to look after himself and his home, these days. What sort of help would he need ? IF you ( and are there other children ? ) could help him get himself and the place up to date after a weekend of spring cleaning, could he maintain it, with a maid to help ? Or does he want to think of perhaps exploring a retirement community where there would be a housekeeper to help ?