Our expert says:
Its a sadly common problem that relatives who think they are being loving and protective make alcoholics and addicts much worse and prevent them from recovering, by hiding their problems, making excuses, and actuall encouraging them to continue and to avoid the consequences of their choices. He is preventing them from growing up, by insisting on treating them as children needing to be protected, rather than recognizing them as adults needing to be expected to take responsibility for their own choices and actions. Marriage counselling would be a very good idea, maybe he'd recognize that he needs to sort things out in his own life and home before he can decide how to be helpful to his sibs. Its OK for him to continue to love them --- the important question is HOW to show that love in ways that don't increase their irresponsibility and self-damage. Tough love is far more effective than sloppy sentimental love.
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