Posted by: STEF | 2013/02/07

unhappy marraige

hi i''ve been in a loveless and sexless marraige for the past 4 years, the begining was amazing but then things changed. he is very caring and sweet but i''m not happy, he doesnt fullfil my other needs and desire''s. as a result i started an affair with a married collegue, it''s amazing i feel things that i longed for...wat do i family loves my husband, thats another things holding me back, that and i''m scared of not finding any1 else....

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Our expert says:
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No. This is not not how to solve things. Having an affair with a married person is never ever justified, and causes pain all round ( even though you are finding it temporarily fulfilling at present ).
Firstly try to solve whatever problems you have in your marriage - you dont mention any attempt at marriage counselling. If that fails, move to divorce, and only think of fresh relationships once you are again personally free. This guy may well not want to continue once you're more formally available, but any new relationship after that will be more honest on both sides.
"It's so hard ?" You think it'll be easy when your husband and his wife find out about it ? Or when, having already cheated on his wife, he might cheat on you ?
Don't seek what's easy, seek what's just and effective

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Our users say:
Posted by: omhle | 2013/02/10

I''m merride nd experting nd I don''t feel any love for me nd my unborn child

Reply to omhle
Posted by: Christina | 2013/02/08

Wow. I take it that you have no respect for yourself I you, a married woman, sleeping with a married man. Nothing good about that. And it should actually make you feel dirty, cheap, and easy, no make you feel good. Have you asked your husband why? Maybe he suffers from some sort of sexual problems. Men are always terrified that they can''t please their woman. and will usually abstain from intimacy instead. First divorce your husband. Than go on and leave the married guy alone. And find someone who is single. Cause you making your husband look like a complete fool. Including his wife.

Reply to Christina
Posted by: poposh | 2013/02/07

xxx wat u saying is true my brother let me say my littlie opinion here, i dont jugde bt wat goes around comes around plz plz plz plz good people,let me ask questions 1st the ur husband proposed to u why u didnt say? no.2nd didnt u knw that oneday u will hav problems did ur parents told or advise wat happens in marriages?i knw it is not easy bt why cant u go back to ur parents and ask for solution and the ONLY SOLUTION IS GOD WHO CAN HELP HE IS THE ONE WHO CREATED MARRIAGE pray unto him he is not deaf to hear ur prayer, dont stop fire by fire instead of looking for solution u look for another trouble .LAST Question wat if ur husband are not chaeting they just go thruogh some difficulties?N MEN men wen they hav problems they dont talk thats hw men they are. if they find out wat ur family will say n ur enemies n west part ur children
wat are they going say my mom is slut come on before making decision think twice abt ur decision.are they going to hurt my children or people around u.ALL DE BEST WITH UR DECISIONS

Reply to poposh
Posted by: Vicky | 2013/02/07

Ask yourself why there are problems in your house, hubby might be having an affair. There you go and promote the same. No dear, you will rather date a single man or end your marriage. I was in that situation but i will never date someone''s husband because the poor woman will go through lot of hurt because of me. What you give is what you get. Just collect yourself and date a guy who single or just leave that man if he makes you unhappy. I am still in the unhappy marriage too and seeing a single guy. I requested we path and he said if i leave him he will kill me, now i am working on getting a job in another province then he can leave me alone.

Reply to Vicky
Posted by: Anon2013 | 2013/02/07

hi Stef

feel ur pain but ur a marriage wrecker
a sl-t

Reply to Anon2013
Posted by: Chris758 | 2013/02/07

How long have you been married? I must admit I know how you feel being withoiut sex that long......I do not blame you for looking else where but to have an affair with a married man is not good!! Try and find someone single!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: STEF | 2013/02/07

i knw thats th e right thing to do but it''s so hard.

Reply to STEF
Posted by: XXX | 2013/02/07

Having an affair with a married man is only causing another marriage serious problems,let alone health issues in both marriages.
If you are unhappy with your husband &  there is no chance of making things work,divorce him &  move on (NOT with another married man)

Reply to XXX

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