Our expert says:
If he comes home drunk 3 times a week, he has a drinking problem. Is he under much stress at work, or indeed at home ? His reation to the suggestion of counselling suggests he is reluctant to admit there is anything wrong.
Is it possible that, unwittingly, you have been contributing at all to the development of these problems ? Understandably you feel disgruntled when he arrives home late - but if you're grumbly and nagging ( "ful of moans and groans ") when he gets there, however understandably, this would encourage him to drink more and arrive later. And if he's staying out later there's less time to relate to and play with the child. Men usually find it very hard to deal with nagging ro groans, feeling they should say or do something to solve everything, and if they can't they may prefer to withdraw from the situation rather than feel useless and defeated.
Is your loss of interest in sex possibly related to a Post Natal Depression ( a really common problem ) which would also add to the moans and groans feeling ? It responds really well to treatment, best with medication AND counselling.
Would it perhaps help if you sought advice from a shrink about your side of the discomfort, and some counseling ? As you began to feel better, and could work out with your counsellor better ways of handling the other problems, and could be more cheerful and welcoming when he came home ( imagine making him feel regret that he didn't come home sooner !) he may become open to recognizing the potential value of marriage counselling along with you.
Please recognize I'm not in any way suggesting you should be blamed for the situation, but you are a participant in it, and can most easily change your part of the situation.
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