Posted by: Betty | 2007/03/04

Trying to compete

Hi everyone!

I'm 23 and I made really good friends with this girl I met last year and we're practically best friends but I'm starting to feel that she's mimicking my identity. She started liking all the things I like (things that she previously didn't like) and she's losing her own identity through this. She completely changed the way she dresses. She started reading books and watching movies that she borrows from me then she'll ask me in front of other people whether I've seen or read them. It's gotten so bad that we practically dress the same now and she'll go and buy an item of clothing exactly like mine and wear it all the time. I feel like I'm losing my what was once "eccentric identity". I liked her the way I met her when she was still herself, not when she "became me". I don't know how to handle this and if I even have the right to be upset?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It happens. SOmetimes it's deliberate, sometimes a person doesn't recognize the extent to which they are mimicking a person / friend they like and admire. Let\s see what others say in the next few days ; but why not simply chat calmly with her, and comment on how much you liked her individual style when you first got to know her ? I wonder what she'd do if you started to mimic the old her, and to dress the way she used to --- would she follow you back to where she came from ? Or would she maybe recognize what it was all about ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Betty | 2007/03/12

Don't know if anyone will still read this but I started dressing like she used to and she actually commented on how "awful" I looked! She is very insecure but I am starting to feel threatened by her copying me as if she's imposing in my life.

Reply to Betty
Posted by: Lynda | 2007/03/04

Perhaps she looks up to you, idolising you and wants to be like you. Do you feel threatened by her copying you....?? Perhaps she just doesn't feel confident in being herself or perhaps she doesn't quite know who she is and what she likes, she needs a mentor so to speak. Not everyone is creative and can create their own "style".

Reply to Lynda

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