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Question
Posted by: Lovey | 2004/12/21

Trusting a man......... very hard

We have been together for 4 yrs, i heared rumours that he cheats on me, before last year he got somebody else pregnant, i was very heart broken with time i thought i forgave him and got back together, till today i have not catch him with anybody but i still hear rumoured, its rumours because i did not see myself, that he still cheats on me, last week he paid lobola, i agreed we live in together and r planning to buy a house soon we already have a baby of 3yrs and r planning on having another one, i went for HIV test and am negative.

Now the problem is ever since he got the other girl pregnant i do not trust him anymore, i always want him by my side evertime when he goes out with friends i think to my self "is he really going with friends or is he going to see his girlfriend?" everything he says i really dont believe him, basically i dont trust him! the worst thing is every girl that i see around i simply ask my self "could u be one of his girlfriends? i know this is not healthy and he might have changed fo real, i dont want to loose him but dont want to always feell this way either.

Please help, every advice is welcome

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello Lovey,
Personally, I doubt whether continuing relationships with someone so unfaithful and careless as to father a child with someone else, are a great idea. And Paul has said it perfectly. Trust is not a gift yougive to someone who wants it, it's something they have to earn. if the distrust is beginning to cause probl;ems for you, personally, some counselling might help

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: DM | 2004/12/21

Hi Lovey

Same thing happened to me few years ago, Believe me you will never trust him unless he proves to you. My husband cheated on me and a child resulted. They broke up when the child was 3yrs.(now 7). He confessed to me that he won't do it again but it was not easy for me to forgive. As time is the best healing process i did forgive him and slowly trying to forget what he did. I know this must be a bad experience but you will feel better if your husband proves his trustworthy.

Take care girl
DM

Reply to DM
Posted by: ****** | 2004/12/21

Well said Paul!!!

Reply to ******
Posted by: Paul | 2004/12/21

It is understandable that you cannot trust this man, its not your duty to trust him anymore, rather it is his duty to prove to you that he is worthy of being trusted.

Reply to Paul

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