Posted by: K.D. | 2011/10/27

Trust VS Cheating......

I''ve been in a marriage for the past 18 years and all was well til recent findings....When it came to the Bedroom scene for the past 6 months things have taken a dramatic turn and when i questioned , it was all about work pressure , , headaches , stress etc.. all this made perfect sense when I discoverd on my wifes phone that she was chatting up another man of a different colour messages from the other man was very sensual and erotic. When I approched her , it was a long story of saying that it was only flirting and she had never met the or seen the guy, but they they chattered on a profesional way ( work related issues from an outside company as well as on a personal way.)
She promised never to do that again , but Is she lying to me? Ladies , Gentlemen , tell me will she do this again , what you think i Should do ?????

Ps , I was faithfull from day one and never indulge in this kind of behaviour....

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Do not seek opinions but go with her for marriage counselling.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: petra | 2011/10/27

To the lady who reply to me: Thank you, it helps to know that I am not the only one.
I would like to contact you. I need to know how your marriage survived this.
You may e-mail me on I would appreciate it.

Reply to petra
Posted by: Petra | 2011/10/27

No I do not have a problem with colour. In fact he first told me it was a white hore. I immediatly went for the tests.

More lies thats the problem. The thing about his black woman fantacy : He are a rasist and can''t stand black people.

1 plus 1 do not add up to 2.

Reply to Petra
Posted by: To Petra | 2011/10/27

And no, it is NOT true. Respectfull men will not sleep with whores regardless of their colour. they will be faithfull to their wives.
A man must have a very low opinion of himself to pay for this if he has a willing, clean and loving wife and then open himself to all the STD''s he can get.

Reply to To Petra
Posted by: To Petra | 2011/10/27

I feel for you. I had exactly the same thing with my spouse. Yes, we are trying again and no I will never trust fully again.

To Anon. A whore is a whore. They cannot exactly choose who they allow"  ï n"  them. So yes, regardless of the colour of the whore. They are riddled with desease. No arguments here.
As a matter of interest. ..... black men are obsessed with having sex with white women or white whore. I am sure any respectable black wife will feel offended too.
Sorry Anon but colour will always stay an issue when it comes to this.
Petra needed to clarify that her husband had some sick fantasy to sleep with a black woman so why beat around the bush and make this an issue? Yes even a pink or a purple whore, you need yourself tested for STD''s for the longest period after.
Oh and one last thing... not only white people can spell.

Reply to To Petra
Posted by: Anon | 2011/10/27

@Petra. Do you have a problem with your husband''s cheating, OR the fact that he had sex with a black woman/prostitute. Would you still be going for all these tests had the woman been white?

May I then assume that you''re white? If yes, then you need to learn how to spell.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Petra | 2011/10/27


I know how you feel, mabe even worst.

I found out and my husband confess, he had sex with a black prostitute.

I am devistated.
His reason for doing that this was a fantasy to have sex with a black woman.

I went for SHIV and siflis test. And have to go for the next 6 years.
There were never problems with our sex life. I never had a headache, or anything, I gave him what he wants, oral sex the lot to keep him happy.

Aperently he claim that the majority of white men had sex with a black woman. Is that true?

Trust is broking and will never be restore.
I even have to let my domestic maid leave because his fantasy temptation.

How do anyone continue to have a normal maraige after this?

Reply to Petra
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/10/27

I went through the same situation of the wife cheating....that was the second time and believe me, knowing this you will never be able to trust fully again. All this starts with their work and their colleges........all innocent!! like hell it is!!! If she says she will stop let her give you evedince of where she is when she says she is say at the shops etc. It is up to her to prove to you that you can trust her again!!

Men ussually were the cheaters but because the women now get the better work opputunities they are becoming worse than the men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: James | 2011/10/27

I feel for you. I went through the same as you. I hope for your sake your wife is the same as my wife, now ex wife. SHe cheated more than once. I personally would not trust her.

Reply to James
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/10/27

Do not seek opinions but go with her for marriage counselling.

Reply to sexologist

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.