Our expert says:
Clearly there is more going on here than meets the eye, and your gf's steady refusal to talk about something she knows has hurt you, does not look at all promising. And for her to refuse to join you in counselling, sounds like she's not prepared to accept that she may have caused a problem and that she's not prepared to try seriously to sort out any problems that exist. That sounds like she could be using you, rather than loving you.
You could make it clear to her that either she joins you in serious discussion of what's going on, including joint counselling, or the relationship is officially over. Prety-well any problem between a couple can be sorted out, with goodwill on both sides. But when one person flatly refuses to make discussion possible, then there's nothing further worth trying.
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