Our expert says:
I'm not sure I understand the start of your letter. Who did he ask to give the engagement ring back ?
If you made it clear from the start that you very reasonably expected him to be over his ex, and he said that he was, then he misled you. If it was she who still had the engagement ring, that doesn't sound lime "over".
And one wonders why he felt he needed to tell her he was still thinking of her. Thinking of her maybe he can't always help that, but he didn't get forced to tell her. But then, apparently he told her he loves you very much ?
It makes no sense, if he was honest when he told you it was over, for him to ask her to be sneaky in contacting him. How "over" is that ?
Anyhow, from the sound of it she wants nothing to do with him, and plans to keep the ring.
Its entirely understandable that you find it difficult to trust him.
I'm also not sure what you're saying, when you talk of him "e-mailing" her - is he sending regular and different e-mails, or is this all about the single e-mail that was so upsetting for you ?
Persuade him to join you in couples counselling, to work together on sorting this all out as well as possiblem before making decisions about continuing or ending the relationship
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