Posted by: Sherry | 2008/09/30


Hi, There is something that is driving me crazy and this is the ability to trust. I am dating the most amazing guy in the world but not so long ago i found a few sms' s on his cell phone to an ex that he lived with. The messages were filled with things that he would say to me on a daily basis and it hurt me badly. He however agreed to stop all contact with her and I trust that he has done that. Problem is I have so many days were I sit and worry that he is really still in contact with her and that he still wants to be with her. I have talked to him about it but sometimes he gets angry when i ask him about it because he believes that I dont trust him. How do i get over this and start enjoying life?

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Our expert says:
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It seems to be a fact of life that many people, men and women, keep affable and friendly contact with some of their Ex's, without seeing this as romantic or as intrusive in their current relationship, while their current partner most often does see it in this light. The more the content of such exchanges mirrors that of a current relationship, the more unwise this behaviour is, and the more likely it is to be disruptive. He has to face the fact that, as Granny used to say, he can't have his cake and eat it, too. He shouldn't get angry that you don't totally trust him, as he created this situation. Relationship counselling would be the best way to sort this out, as it is a shared problem, not simply something you have to adjust to.

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