Posted by: English | 2007/03/18


I feel that my girlfriend shares my confidential personal information with her "friends". I recently told her something in confidence and heard it from one of these "friends" a week later. I don't trust these friends as I don't think they have my best interests at heart. I also don't want for her to have an impression that I am selective of her friends by telling her to avoid even to spend time with them. I want to establish what else has she told them and perhaps diplomatically tell her to distance herself from these "friends". How do I get an mutual beneficial end to this.

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Our expert says:
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Good Morning English

Trust and repsect are the foundations of any relationship. Telling her to avoid being with her friends will have no effect as the issue here is not her friends, it is your girlfriend betraying your trust. Something said in confidence should never be spread to other people, and she has an issue keeping confidential information to herself.

Ask her to please keep the conversations between you to herself and then see what she says to that. Digging for what she has said in the past will only cause an argument.

Establish trust again by mutually agreeeing to keep your private stuff between the two of you.

Mike Lacey-Smith
Life coach for Men

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