Posted by: confused | 2004/12/20


I have been together with my boyfriend for 2 years now and its a serious relationship, we are considering moving in together next year. The problem is i can't seem to trust him. he has never cheated on me (i hope not) but its his reputation that bothers me. When we met and decided to take the relationship a step further we sat down and spoke about all the skeletons in our closets and I didnt think his past was so bad because i mean i have also made alot of mistakes. the problem is that to this day his friends and boss still make remarks such as "is this the same girl i met last time because you always have a new girlfriend" and "must i put her name on the invite because knowing you when the party comes you will have a new girl" and "shouldnt i rather put ******* & partner on the invite just in case".

This really bothers me because i dont think he was honest with me about his past and i am so scared he has been with more and slept with more girls than he told me. when i confront him about this he just says "Ive told you a hundred times i was popular and had alot of girlfriends".

I have considered speaking to a shrink here in my town but i really struggle trusting anybody and this is really hurting my relationship. should i move in with him or shouldnt i. when we met i must have deleted close on to 50 girls numbers from his phone. am i just another number on his phone?? his friends and collegues seem to think so. please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why move in with a guy you don't trust ? Work on clarifying whether he is untrustworthy, in which case definitelyu don't move in with him ; or whether you are being excessively untrusting, in which case modify that trait before getting too close to anyone. Maybe his friends know him well and are being accurate ; maybe they're mainly teasing. Have you discussed this with him ? Confronting is not a useful method though, if you want to find out things ; chat is more productive. A celibate guy wouldn't have 50 girls numbers on his phone would he ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Q | 2004/12/20

The fact that he was populer you know and yes sometimes people can be so emvious of some one that hey will ceep on making wise craks about it. But unfortunatly for you the pas will be true!! He has told you about it and told you he was populer, this means he was honist about it. Now the past belongs to the past and your future is all that needs to count if you can not do this my advise would be to go and see a counselor and if that does not help the best is to then become one of the numbers on his phone and leave him because if there is no trust in a relationship there can be no relationship!!! its you choice!!! Best of luck hope you can work this thing out

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