Posted by: haroon | 2009/02/16

Troublesome past

When i was kid and was around 10-11 years old, my father used to do frottage with me until i get discharge. He used to give me naked bath and talk naughty like... lets take shower together. He used to hold my erected penis and many times i get discharge byt this. He stopped all these activities himself after 1-2 years. Does this stuff come into child abuse ? I am 27 years old and still not be able to come of this troublesome past. Sometimes, i think i should tell my mother about this, but it will make her heart-broken. I live with my parents and my father havent spoken to me about this. I dont like father and usually avoid talking to him. I have also fell into gayism and have done sex with guys. Suggest me what to do ?

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Our expert says:
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I would recommend that you seek out counselling to be able to talk about your experiences. What you describe is child sexual abuse, and you would benefit from speaking about this and dealing with the past.

There is not necessarily a link between the abuse and your sexuality. There is sometimes a concern that abuse of this nature "makes" someone gay. This is not the case, but you may be confused about your sexuality and feel the need to discuss this with a therapist.

What is important to remember is that none of what happened was your fault.

Please consider finding a psychologist to see for therapy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: STALLION | 2009/02/16

You will gain nothing to involve your mother into this. Why would you create tension between your mother and father. You are 27 years old already. You are supposed to deal with the issue as a man. Forget what is behind you.

What your father did was clearly not acceptable. But it is not so much worse than what many other boys go through. Countless 15 year old boys have been fondled by 18 - 20 year olds. Tough rugby player butch guys will admit that during their teens they have masturbated in the presence of their friends. Only a small percentage of boys turned out gay.

Even to confront your father with your history may not resolve your grievances. If he confesses that he has done wrong and apologises, is that going to turn you around to become butch and heterosexual ?

I would recommend that you make an appointment with a MALE pshycologist to discuss your problems. I have heard too often that female pshycologists are running with these types of issues to the police, doing more harm than resolving relationships. Only a man may clearly grasp the essence of your situation, because he personally has gone through the phases of puberty, teens and adolescence.


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