Our expert says:
One can control or at least influence dream content more than most people realize, and a dream might not specifically be a trigger in itself but may suggest a trigger. Now, the issue about wanting symmetry is interesting, and may represent a larger issue about expecting indeed demanding balance and fairness and symmetry in other as[ects of life, as well, and feeling frustrated when things go skew and unbalanced, physically or psychologically.
Don't start blaming yourself if no triggers come to mind. Sometimes they're obvious, sometimes they're not. Work with your shrink to explore this. And sometimes, its useful not to specifically go trigger-hunting, but to produce for yourself a brief summary of all events and reactions for a few days before any major depressive episode started, for a few episodes, to see if any pattern becomes apparent
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