Our expert says:
Sounds like, by becoming more involved in appreciating life, she has made good use of the otherwise most unfortunate situation of having become HIV positive. But of course, ideally, one would seek to achieve the same benefits without the same disadvantages. And if she resents honest, accurate and kindly comments on her weight or reminders about taking her meds, this sounds much less healthy, and more like frank Denial of the realities of the illness. She sounds ambivalent, as you mention her refusing to see that her condition will change --- yet she spoke to you about taking one or both of her children when she passes on. So the Denial isn't complete.
I don't see why you can't tell her the pleasant thoughts and feelings you have about her --- surely anyone would be pleased to hear that ? It doesn't have to come across as about saying good bye. Its about really saying "hello" --- and something friends should do more often, whether ill or not.
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