Posted by: Janine | 2009/01/27

Tools to get over someone

My ex dumped me and went back to the mother of his child who is much younger than me, prettier but uneducated and unemployed. I am physically ok and have a good job, my own place &  car and have a sound educationl backgroud. I just don' t get it why he left me for her. When we were together he said he wished I was the mother of his child. Is it about the bond they share through their child? He left me 3 months ago but I just can' t get over him. I have tried going out with friends, doing some introspection, shopping etc...I need to get over him fast coz it' s really frustrating me now because I am normally in control of my life...not this time it seems? I am not looking to date someone else yet. Any suggestions?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

DOn't strive to know WHY he left you for her --- at gunpoint and probed under sedation, he is unlikely to be able to tell you, and probably can't really explain it to himself. The bond regarding their child is obviously likely to be relevant, but hardly the only relevant factor. Maybe a counsellor would help you get over him, in addition to the other tactics you are using

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Our users say:
Posted by: cally | 2009/01/28

Hey honey,
I feel your pain. I' ve just left my guy, it was in my best interests as he was getting physically destructive and pushing me around, but hell it hurts. I think that the blame is firmly at your ex' s feet. If he' s too dumb to realise your worth, then he isn' t worth your time anyway. Keep your chin up, be strong, and remember that it' s his loss. Move on, you have a lot to offer the right man (hopefully one who' ll treat you like a queen)

Reply to cally
Posted by: T Man | 2009/01/28

Hi Jeanine,

I agree with the doc that tactically what you are doing now, put toy in the right track. Hopefully adding some couple of counselling session will help you find closure. With me I did the same, I spent time with friends, went for walks, I even went to the gym (still going there even now). I think doings that will keep your mind busy will in the long run help get over this person. Unfortunately there are no quick fixes for this one but to take it one day at a time. One quick advice...don' t blame yourelf for what happened. Leaving was his choice and not yours.

Reply to T Man

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