Our expert says:
She should not need excessive amounts of support, and should be considerate of y our own problems and duties. Sit down and calmly discuss this with her, and work out a joint solution. That you will remain accessable to her when there are major crises, but must be enabled to lead your own lives without being completely governed by her own crises. Sis is a big girl now, and should be able to largely take care of herself, without insisting on hand-holding the whole way. She must not expect to be taken along any time you go out, nor to fret if you happen to go out and enjoy yourselves --- this is your life to lead and enjoy. She messed up with this phase of her own, and should be seeing a coujnsellor and working through this, rather than imposing her problems on you
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