Posted by: HKY | 2007/06/25

Too Much

I've been divorced now for 18 months, I just can't seem to move on, I have been for counselling, but can't afford any more sessions, I had 8 sessions and can't say it made any differrence, I can't stay focused, I have lost all my motivation and inner drive, my work has been affected in a bad way, although I'm divorced for 18 months I still spend most of my day thinking of my ex, which makes me angry and depressed, I can't control my thoughts into a differrent direction. I have a lot of anger that has built up over the last 18 months and don't know how to deal with this and just move, I have been totaly devated by her leaving as we had never had any issues other than those that most relationships go through so I can't make sense of all of this, we had been a couple for 20 years and married for 12 years. I just feel things are getting worse from day to day and not better. How do I control my thoughts and get rid of all the anger, 18 months is a long time maybe not enough to deal with everything but this all becoming too much.

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Our expert says:
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Sorry to ehar that your counsellor was apparently so ineffective. perhaps he/she wasn't using the best available method ( CBT, according to loads of good research ) so wasn't likely to produce useful early results. With CBT I would have expected good progress within 8 sessions. Have you tried discussing this on the divorce support forum, or finding some realtime support group locally ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/25

Remember that 20 years is a long time. You got used to the fact that she was there everyday and you shared a lot of things together. Get yourself a hobby and socialize with friends or something to get your mind off of things. Have you ever heard of thunderboltcity, I thought it was a stupid site at first, but you can really meet nice people there, friends or maybe more than friends, but meet new people, do other things than what you're used to.

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