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Question
Posted by: Nora | 2005/11/21

Too much!!

I think I should have my head read, living in a promised world. my fiance keeps promising me this that and the other, when he see's that I want to leave, why I stay on beats me, I love him but these lies and promise's are gettinmg me down.
The years are going by and we are getting older.
We live together, he keeps setting dates for marriage then postphones, we should have been married two years ago, his now said we'll get married on the 4th Feb, promised to buy a new house, so we went to view some, we both liked one of the house's, he said it was a bargain and agreed to buy it, now his changed his mind, says it's too costly, how long are these promise's going to go on.
His been controlled by a psycho friend, this friend spoke him out of getting married. He had fought with his fiancee a week before their wedding and cancelled, then told my fiance marriage wasn't a good idea, although the friend is still with his fiancee.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

aybe you love him, but he is not being loveable. I agree strongly with Blue --- give him an ultimatum, and if he's so scared of committment that he cant start wedding plans after all this time, leave him while you still have time to find happiness with someone NOT so scared of committment or so indecisive. Tell himit's Feb 4 or never, and as you'll need a house to live in then, he'd better get searching with you, and not dither about places you both like. And tell him that your offer is solely to marry him --- and not his malicious best friend

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Our users say:
Posted by: Blue | 2005/11/21

The answer is quite simple: think with your head and not your heart. Set a date - say, the 14th of Feb and tell him that if you are not married by then you will up and off.

Of course, you won't have to wait until the 14th because marriage plans should be made (like now?) long before then.

Your acceptance of his indecision is approval of his procrastination. Why should he marry you if you are prepared to wait and wait and wait and wait?

Are you sure you really want to marry someone that has commitment issues? Isn't there a little clue somewhere telling you that he is not the settling down type?

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