Posted by: Rosey | 2008/08/21

Too lonely too break up

What a pitiful position I find myself in. My gut is telling me this guy is not right for me. Been together for 3 yrs and things are good. But they' re not great. He' s just not all that deep.

But I find that I' ve been living like a hermet for the last few years. Have always been kind of anti-social but even us hermets need to feel connection with other people. Most of my friends and I have drifted apart, so how do I keep my sanity when I end it with Mr Frog? If I' m all alone I know I' ll give in and contact him, and will remain miserable in the long run. Is it just not the right time to end it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Presumably he hasn't grown any shallower in 3 years --- has he revealed his shallowness more obviously, or has your tolerance of it dropped, or your expectations raised ? As a hermit, maybe start by reviving your previous friendships where possible, and looking for opportunities to develop new freinds. Why not also get involved in charitable / NGo work, which can help others, help you to keep busy and get things into perspective ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Rosey | 2008/08/24

Thanks for the feedback guys. I think my expectations have raised. More frustrating than fun nowadays. I' m making it my mission to try revive some old friendships now and to get more involved in life. I' m not ready to break up with him without a support system in place.

Reply to Rosey
Posted by: Mambo | 2008/08/22

Easy to say " get out" . I agree with Tango, but this is only wise if you are willing to lead a purposeful life in future and not to withdraw to your study, computer and work. Don’ t fool yourself that this might bring happiness There is no point in withdrawing from society and possibly a new relationship because of your past experience.. Be careful not to blame your partner for everything - he is not responsible for you being anti-social. Is it his responsibility to help you deal with this behavior or should you get professional help? Men are often guilty of what they are blamed for, but sometimes their behaviour is a response to what is returned to them.

Reply to Mambo
Posted by: Tango | 2008/08/21

Miserable if you do - miserable if you don' t.

Well, its better being miserable on your own and finding other opportunities to interact with new people than stay in a dead end relationship - and remain miserable. Sometimes you have to take the pain to get eventual relief. Bit like slicing open a boil to get the muck out before you heal!!

Reply to Tango

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