Posted by: SAD K | 2008/10/13

Too kind

HI!! I
My problem in General is I Have always been a peace maker and selfsacrificing.

I have dedicated my life to making sure that i dont disappoint anyone especially my family
at time in meant doing things I hated.
I am now married with two children and living a " not so good a life'  as my wife over the period has mastered the art of manipulating me aswell to the extent I dont recorgnise myself.I also made things worse my choosing an insecure partner the result being not having a social life cause my wife thinks I am having affairs and stuff.the guilt trips and accusations got the worst of me
a while ago I Almost walked out of my marriage this year but didnt the primary reason being my family( the look when I told them I wanted out said it all) and my kids.

how does one claim their lives back. I believed being the model hubby and Son would make every one arround me happy and inturn me. didnt work. my wife still doesnt trust me as far as she can throw me and i never cheated on her.No matter how much I stay home .
how DO u become yourself without hurting those you love
is there such a balance.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sou you;ve tried to a oid disappointing others, and the cost has been disappointing yourself. Work on convincing her to join you in mariage counselling, to meet both aims. Remember, you can lead a style of life that by and large avoids hurting others, but where their discomfort arises primarily from their own internal problems, you aren't and can't be responsible for those.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: A | 2008/10/13

Sad K your not alone in the relationship you describe, I had a similar experience with my partner, I asked her to move on a few months back as I had enough.
The first step is realising you’ re the number one person in your life and it must be easy not hard and good to be in a relationship not hide behind things cause your trying to keep the peace cause your partners jealous or has issues.
You lie to your self saying its good and things will get better even when you talk on a one on one basis you have to change to make them happy, does not work.
There is no easy way they either follow you or they don’ t and her influence on your kids will be stronger than yours.
You need to change things around where you are the man of the house not the wimp f not she will control you till you die.

Reply to A

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