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Question
Posted by: sideways | 2007/06/19

To think or not to think

Hi

I have recently started dating a young lady and we have spent the last 2 months together having a great time. We get along well, we laugh together and have many similar interests and always enjoy great conversation. All is well except that I must admit that I don't have butterflies when I'm around her. I am not desperate to see her when I don't, I don't need to communicate withher every day. I don't wonder what she si doing or wait for her to mail me or call me etc. It really doesn't bother me and if we were to break up tomorrow I would be disappointed but certainly not deeply upset. She has also become rather moody lately, rather aggresive, combatative, critical, frigid and irritable. I am 29 and she is 28. She is a clinical psychologist and trying to get her own practise going amongst many toher projects. I know part of the problem is the contraceptive patch she is on. It is killing her libido and affecting her mood, but I find myself owndering if this relationship is worthwhile. I wonder if I should stick around or if I am wasting my time. I worry about the fact that I am not too emotionally attached to her and that I am growing increasingly less patient with her bad moods and lack of affection etc. What do you guys think?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

From your description, maybe you're aggreable friends, but not in love. It happens. Love is not compulsory. Have you made some sort of committment to her, that you fel you somehow need to carry on ? Or why not end it amicably and move on ? Sounds like she's rather pre-occupied lately setting up her practice, anyhow

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Our users say:
Posted by: sideways | 2007/06/19

Thanks cs. I think you are right. I haven't made any commitment. I guess I almost feel like it would be a pity to end it and perhaps I should give it a little more time to see if things change. However, probably not, they might only get worse. She tries but we are very different with regards to how we show affection and she is very uncompromising, she simply refuses to address certian issues. She will say that she has a policy on certain things andthat is that. For example, when I spoke to her about her sudden lack of libido she simply said that she really doesn't feel like it and she won't ever sleep with me if she doesn't feel like it. She then went on to sayshe has had this problem before in her previous relationship and she refuses to fight over or have sex being a problem. I found this to be very irritating. I mean, it is an issue and thus does need to be addressed.

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