Posted by: RvM | 2008/05/27

To see her, or not

Hi all.
Little background. I posted a while back. My girlfriend of 4 and a half years went to a cruiseliner to work about a year ago. We would've gotten engaged Feb, when she returned. There she found another man, and we broke up. She visited SA in Feb, but returned there. She is the most loayal partner you will find, but she cheated n him, with me, when she was here. And it was not like her, and made her realise that she still had a lot of feelings for me. She is very young - 21 and I'm 27.
Well, she is back in SA today, but only for 5 days, then she is going back to him. She phoned me last night from New York, and wanted to know if we can meet up, because she miss me, and really want to see me.
Most of my friends say that I must not do it, because then she knows I'm there, whenever she want me, and the perfect back up plan.
What would you do in a situasion like this? See her, and have a nice time, or not see her, and wonder about it. Both ways, my head is gonna spin in a weeks time!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm not sure I understand your definition of "loyal". She left you for someone else, then cheated on him with you. Now she's going back to him, but wants top see you ? That's loyal ? She's not young at 21, immature, maybe, with no idea of morals and faith, and selfish and thoughtless, and faithless to both of you. One used to hear of sailors with a gal in every port, but it seems she now wants a guy in every port. Surely she's using you. Are you that eager to be used ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: me | 2008/05/28

i say do her....but hey i am a -|- man....

Reply to me
Posted by: RvM | 2008/05/27

Thanks guys and girls. I guess the right thing is not to see her. And everyone tells me the same. It is just so hard to know that she is 40km away, and yet, by choice, I don't see her. I know I'm not suppose to still be in love with her, but yet, I can't seem to make the choice to move on!!
But I'm gonna try to follow you all. I mean, 7 people can't be wrong!!!!

Reply to RvM
Posted by: Jaacob regop | 2008/05/27

Eish I feel for you my brother. This is what I would have done: I'd spend the hole 5 days with her, make love(or have sex with her) ... go out and stuff...and towards the end of her last day, organise for a female friend or collegue to come to your place as if ur lovers...with the other girl around of course...and then wait and c what she does then...If she ask you who the other chick is, tellher it's your "friend with benefits" ....see then what she does.....

Reply to Jaacob regop
Posted by: JOZI | 2008/05/27

She is your ex taken from you my bro, don't ever take her seriously but i would have enjoyed to exploit her a bit. Sex with a nyatsi is sometimes exciting. We have find these things in this world and we gonna leave them behind my bro.

Reply to JOZI
Posted by: John | 2008/05/27

Take the high road, dude, the one that's harder to take. Don't be a part of someone else's game of flexible morality. Time to move on, change your number and let her lie, alone, in the bed that she has made.

Reply to John
Posted by: EL | 2008/05/27

It would be nice to see her and enjoy time with her for one last time, but she has a boyfriend and you don't want to do to another man that you wouldn't want to be done to you right? So just leave it...

Reply to EL
Posted by: Al | 2008/05/27

Vra haar wat haar langtermyn plan is. Sien sy jou in haar toekoms, of die ander man. Dit is nie regverdig teenoor jou en die ander man dat sy julle so "speel" nie. Sy sal haar kop moet skoonmaak en 'n besluit moet neem.

Reply to Al
Posted by: Wendy | 2008/05/27

You'd be a fool to see her. She's just using you and then in a week's time you get left with a broken heart again and she goes back to her boyfriend. She obviously has no morals if she can carry on cheating on everybody. You need to find someone who appreciates you for yourself.

Reply to Wendy

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