Posted by: Val | 2004/11/12


Mmmm, something to ponder.

NLM, since this is the first posting that I have directly received that does not screech of 'me, me, me' and poses an insightful question, I think you deserve an honest answer:

I read this forum on a daily basis. Most questions, and indeed answers, are ordinary and humdrum. The questions are generally "O woe is me me what a shit world this is" and the answers are 'O there there, why don't you go for some counselling and you'll see what Louis Armstrong was going on about". In fairness most posters are genuine and have a real concern (Shaun (Sean?) is prolific - he never seems to tire of trying to help even though I disagree with a lot of what he says the man's stamina and patience is amazing) and very occassionaly there is a gem of a posting where the cry for help is moving and the responses are sincere and give genuinely intelligent and helpful answers. However.

I lose what little patience I have when I come across postings that have zero to do with mental health and the posters are so obviously besotted with what they see in the mirror and mistakenly assume to be goods that are universally popular. I become abrasive when self-righteousness is indignantly defended and positively vitriolic when I am told to ignore postings, not read them and not to comment and so forth.

At the risk of underlining the obvious in red ink, this is a public forum and any posting invites, nay - encourages, responses from any member of the great unwashed multitudes that happen to read them. I am a fully paid-up member of the Great Unwashed and I will say what I like and when I like (given the circs I described above).

The self-appointed forum nazis do not bother me in the least - this is not anyones private patch of grass to play on alone.

So, in summary, the narcisstic crap should and will get the direct and unadorned truth it deserves, warts and all.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Val,
excellently clearly stated view, and I agree this is no private patch of grass, so long as people treat each other with the sort of basic courtesy that one would expect if we were having dinner together. It's healthy and often useful to disagree, even vehemently, with someone else's opinion, without making it such an unkind putdown that it is really hurtful.
As for Louis Armstrong, I've always throught it such a tragedy that a truly great jazzman was trapped into making that saccharine recording. However ....
But compassion would really help you to be so much more effective. And you do overlook the regular outbreaks of tough love here. Humilty can be charming, and there's a useful difference between disagreeing and humiliating and punishing, isn't there ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/15

Hi Val,

I must say, even though your posting is bound to bring up some relatively heated responses, I am quite intrigued by your ease at being straight-forward. & Thank you so much for the compliments (I'm hoping they were). You are rather skilfull at your use of the english language.
That said, I would like to encourage you in your responses, as I really look forward to your writings from now on. Especially as you say you often tend to disagree with me. Reason being is that I am of the opinion that we can learn much more from each other when if we take our differing opinions into consideration. I do feel that maybe sometimes our blinkers need to be removed, & what better way than to see things as others do.

Your opinion, what ever it may be is truly valued. It is inevitable that you or I or anyone else, would undoubtly offend the person posting at one time or the other. I did it last week, & it seems, so did you. I'd say the important thing here is that although the words may offend & we would much faster tend to forget those hurtful words, I sincerely hope we don't, in our instinctful haste, forget the valuable lesson...

Thank You Val, hope you have a great day.


Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Professor | 2004/11/12

Narcism, egoism and being besieged by a malignant sufference deep inside your soul, appear to swamp you,with an aching desire to bestow and brush paint the pain you have onto other mortal souls. You sound middleaged, a woman in menopause, bitter, perhaps jilted. Your esteem, in your eyes, is to come across as a superior, knowledgeble guru. You have, and there is no doubt, an understanding and command for the English language. However, there is a vivid difference from being educated ,and beingintelligence. You, of all people, should see what you are doing, and drop you sanctimonious stance to humble distressed folk. Try being compassionate Val, its the one emotion that humans should possess, you should be learned enough to understand this Val. Have a heart, dont punish these poor folk for your own perverse gratifications. Be humble, for a change

Reply to Professor
Posted by: Had Enough | 2004/11/12


You obnoxious twit.
You probably have no friends, no life.Oh no , excuse me, you do have a life..... a pathetic one.
Flaunting your "intellectual" crap has become just as tiresome. An obvious attempt at making others feel inferior, is a sign of your lack of self esteem.

I think the time has come for you to move on...

Reply to Had Enough

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