Posted by: Rvm | 2007/12/22

To meet,or not

I was about to get engaged with a girl,when she went to work on the cruise liners. There she met a guy from England,and they hooked up. We still miss each other,and tell each other that we love them. She is returning in Feb,and he is coming to visit for 20 days. She asked me if I will meet him. What is the wise reply. I'm not over her,and she is still confused. Do I do the nice guy thing,and meet him,or not. What is the reason she will ask something like this? I still feel there is hope for us,and want to play all the right cards. Please let me know what you would sugest. Thanks.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of this, Rvm --- bad things do happen to good people ( it's the bad people who often seem to evade difficulties!) I don't understand why on earth she would want you to meet the other guy, or why she would expect you to want to do so. Is she really THAT confused ? Hasn't she been "confused" for an awfully long time ? Ship-board romances are notorious for not lasting. IS it really the Nice GUy thing to go along and be cuddly ? WOuldn't it be wiser to respond to her saying that you don't see any good reason for meeting the guy, and won't do so. That you still have strong feelings for her and would like to keep the possibility of a resumption of the relationship open, but can't see how it would benefit you, or her, for you to meet with the Other Guy. There's something unwholesome going on here, and you may even, despite your feelings be better off without a woman with chronic Confusion, who can blithely be as hurtful and thoughtless as this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2007/12/22

Rvm if she still loves you then why is she with him. Does she want your approval or does she want to flaunt her relationship with him. What are her intentions. How confused can she be. Surely she doesn't expect you wait for her forever. Is she just using this other guy, but then why is he coming here.....

The whole scenario is confusing, and I am sure even more so to you. Because you still love her, you don't want to hurt her. But what has she done to you. She has abandoned you, or kept you waiting like a puppet on a string. Perhaps she feels powerful to play games like this.

You say you were about to get engaged to her. Perhaps she wasn't ready for commitment it seems. Sounds like she is still not ready or does she want to break it to you that she is getting hitched to this other guy.

Think she needs to define her "love" for you and her intentions with this other guy. If it was just a fling then why is he coming with her to SA. On the other hand, this might just be the closure you needed in order for you to move on.

I would feel very hurt if someone did that to me.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/12/22

I remember when you posted before. I think she has been confused for a pretty long time, and a little too long I'd say. Wanting you to meet him is unbelievable on her part. She sounds as if she is playing games with yourself and maybe even the other guy. You on the other hand sound like a really nice person and its not fair for you to be treated this way.

Reply to Hope*

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.