Posted by: Whole truth | 2005/06/30

To: Male 23 and all those who choose to wait!

I solute you for waiting and actually having the strength to keep yourselves for your future wives & husbands! What a special gift to give to each other and for them to know that you waited just for them.

People today are to "easy" and jump into bed with anyone and only to find out it was just to for the other to get satisfied with no love, no relationship. no trust --- nothing...

Why do you think there are so many broken marraiges or unhappy relationships BEC there is NO REAL commitment unless you marry the one you love.

Anyways i know im going to get some ugly comments back but i dont care bec deep down they are the ones that will end up un happy..every time the sleep with someone they are giving away apart of themselves that they can never get back and wonder why things dont seem right!

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bizzy | 2005/07/01

Sounds to me like you no longer in love with your hubby or you just consumed in all sex sex sex. Yes it is part of the marriage but not all part. According to your replies I think your mind is made up.

Reply to Bizzy
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/06/30

does he not care about seeing your needs are met? what a schmuck!

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: Apple | 2005/06/30


He is also infertile - so our future (if we have one) will be made up of the two of us and that's it.

I really didn't want to discuss my sex life in this forum (how embarrasssing!) I justed wanted to make my point and substantiate it with my own experience.

Reply to Apple
Posted by: Josh | 2005/06/30

Ouch Apple, sounds to me like you and hubby have more marital probelms say something like that is hectic!!!

NO wonder things arent working out...and i disagree with you " if i'd slept together before" Marraige isnt ONLY about sex its about sharing your life with the person you cherish and want to grow old with, have children with...

And to say that about your marraige is really sad! Maybe you do need to GO to the other forum!!!!

Reply to Josh
Posted by: desperado | 2005/06/30

Apple, I understand your point. Sometimes it is better but then there's a difference between having sex with someone you truly love and plan to marry and just having sex for fun (now I'm prbably gonna get it :-) ) but you guys can still do something about it. I also saw very nice "How to" videos on

I only had one partner (my hubby)
But we did have sex before we got married.

We promised ourselves that we are comitted and want to get married and only then we decided to have sex.

I don't believe in sex before marriage but I think marriage happen the day you vow to each other to be comitted forever even without the rings.

The funny thing is that we were not compatible at all!!! We hated it. We kept on asking what the fuss is about. But now 5 years later with alot of videos and information we can't get enough.

So keep trying and marry for love and have relationships because you love. Not to have sex. Because you give a part of yourself away

Reply to desperado
Posted by: Apple | 2005/06/30

Joanne E

Been there done that - bought the Idiot's guide, the abridged version of the Kama Sutra, etc, etc and I am still 28 and have never experienced an orgasm with my dh.

Naturally men are easier to satisfy. He simply rolls over and falls asleep (after the 1 minute and 10 seconds it takes)

Maybe this conversation should rather be on the Sexologists site. Sorry to all those who get offended!!

My point is still: had we slept together before we got married - I would not have married him!

Reply to Apple
Posted by: Josh | 2005/06/30

Good golly apple, you are way to young to just give up like that!!!

The question is do you really love your husband?

If so then you'll be willing to try out things, push through the freustration and keep going...

28yrs thats nothing you still have so many glorious wonderful years ahead, famliy, children... Every couple has problems now and then .

Go for counsiling and get a good book - start experimenting stuff like that... talk to man as well... dont feel that oyu are alone in this!

Reply to Josh
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/06/30

it's all the same to God - before, after, cheating - it's us who make a different size to sin

But that's sad. Why don't you get a lover type book from kalahari or something and try something?

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: Apple | 2005/06/30


We will go for counselling, I am trying to find a councillor now. Unfortunately sex is a very difficult issue to "fix". (Naturally these are not the only issues we have).

I have lost all hope that this issue will be resovled and now have to decide whether to remain married and celibate for the rest of my life (I am only 28!) or to let go of the marriage and start all over again.

Reply to Apple
Posted by: Josh | 2005/06/30

Apple... Have you heard of books, counsiling, try out new things before giving up ect???

Reply to Josh
Posted by: Apple | 2005/06/30

Now, it seems that I will be the one sticking my neck out here.

Great for you for standing by your convictions, HOWEVER, I can truly speak from experience when I say that I wished - every day of my life that I did not wait for my wedding night.

My husband and I are not sexually compatible AT ALL. In fact - we hardly ever have sex, because we can't stand it. Had we had sex before we got married - we probably would not have gotten married.

Now - our marriage is in deep trouble (sex is way more important in a relationship than I ever thought) and it might end badly.

I am not saying: "sleep around." I am just saying that it won't hurt to know whether you are compatible.

In the eyes of Christians (I wouldn't know as I am not) which is the bigger sin?
1. Having loving sex in a serious relationship before getting married or
2. Getting divorced and breaking the vows you made before God because you can't satisfy each other sexually.

Reply to Apple
Posted by: Josh | 2005/06/30

Way to go!!!

It's about time someone wrote about this topic!!!

I agree there are going to be some really nasitic comments coming this way...

But so what sticks and stones can brake our bones and silly unkind words will never harm me

:) Keep it up to all who do choose to wait!!!

Reply to Josh
Posted by: Jooli | 2005/06/30

Gosh! Thanks kindly Christian, I am so happy that I am not an outcast! I feel so much better now!

Reply to Jooli
Posted by: KC | 2005/06/30

Eyes on the Cross people.......

Lets see who's got nasty comments - these guys are only expressing an opinion.

Male23 is a selfless person who's trying to help, so stop insulting him.....

Reply to KC
Posted by: applesugar | 2005/06/30

Well said Whole truth!!! And for all those that have already given part of them selves away there is still hope for you guys - you arent outcasts at all...

Know that Jesus loves you and forgives those you sin, no matter what the sin is. You have to just beleive in him.

:) love you guys!!!

Reply to applesugar

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