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Question
Posted by: KC | 2005/07/04

To Male 23

What is your take on affairs? I mean are you forgiven for having an affair if you repent. You've still broken up a marriage that was blessed by God.

In that case we can have affairs and just repent?

In my case my mother is still a broken women 13 years later and still loves my dad, when he is now married to the women he had an affair with. Its not fair that her life stood still, and just because the other woman repented - does she have the right to be happy?

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Our expert says:
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If the other woman is phoning your mother in obscene triumph to announce that she has won AND that God has fogiven her, she is lying about forgiveness, as she clearly cannot have repented. Your mother should change her phone number so these oafs cant call her.

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Our users say:
Posted by: KC | 2005/07/05

I pray that for you too Lorraine:-)
Thanks for listening guys.
God bless.

xxxxxxx

Reply to KC
Posted by: Lorraine | 2005/07/04

U know what KC i know it is easy to talk and to be quite honest with u, i am sure that if that had to happen to me, I would feel EXACTLY like your mom is feeling.... and I don't think anything anyone would be able to say would make me feel any better. Life is so unfair! I really pray that God will protect my marriage against something like that.

Reply to Lorraine
Posted by: KC | 2005/07/04

Male23

I know she doesnt cry herself to sleep, because she phones my mom to tell her how she won, and God forgave her-to torment her. Her daughter even phones to belittle my mother.

My mom is no saint, she gives as good as she gets when the woman phones!! This woman was a friend of our family - My mom helped her through her divorce!!!!

I also believe if she repented she will be forgiven - thats what i'm trying to get my mom to understand. my mom feels that hte other marriage is not blessed and she is still my dads wife. This gives her the right to be as bitter and suicidal as she wants to be - this is what my mom believes!!!

I mean the people that had affairs must surely also get their day?? I am not trying to sound like a judge - just interested in opinion's. People kill themselves because of hurt from an affair, kids suffer, etc.

The adulterer seems to prosper - i know of many such cases.

Reply to KC
Posted by: Lorraine | 2005/07/04

Hi KC

It is true that God is a God of forgiveness - even forgave the murderer next to Him on the cross and sometimes we cannot understand how something so big and bad in His eyes actually is equal to the smallest little thing like swearing or whatever smallest little sin u can think of.
The bad thing about unforgiveness is that it does completely nothing to the person who did u wrong, but it does do something to u yourself. it turns into bitterness and u know who in the end suffers? The person with unforgiveness in his / her heart. Eventually it gets so bad that it devours u... so to live a free life u need to forgive as God forgives u.

Reply to Lorraine
Posted by: Male23 | 2005/07/04

I cant tell you why that is, but what i can tell you is this: Its between your mother and God, and you may say that other lady is happy, but you dont feel what she feel, for all that you know she cry herself to sleep every night.

First, sin always damages a person's relationship with his God. Psalm 66:18 says, "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened." Intentional disobedience of God's command to not commit adultery dishonors and displeases God. Conversely, God is pleased when His children choose obedience and self-control instead of the immediacy of pleasure.

Second, relational damage happens between a Christian and those who are watching his life. The sin of adultery (i.e., televangelist scandals) causes a person's friends and even "outsiders" to view the adulterer as less committed to obedience, and more prone to hypocrisy. But a Christian who saves himself or herself in obedience to God wins the respect of those who see his or her life.

Sex outside of marriage also damages the relationship between the persons involved. Trust is the main issue here. If two people do not cherish sex enough to wait for a marriage commitment, how can they trust one another for fidelity? Conversely, a man and woman build trust and respect for one another when they both survive the struggles of self-control - each will have the confidence that the other respects them, and cherishes their intimacy.

Similarly, if a person has not carried sexual purity into marriage, his or her marriage relationship is affected by the past. If a man or woman has previously had sex with someone else, their marital intimacy has already been affected. One or both spouses will have to deal with real or perceived comparisons with "former lovers" and feeling that intimacy was not important enough for the other person to wait for it. But if both have waited for their wedding night, the intimacy has already begun with a solid foundation.

Reply to Male23
Posted by: KC | 2005/07/04

I do understand about repentance and forgiveness.

In the Bible it says something about what God has joined together, let no man tear apart.

I just wanna understand how? I'm just saying the other women sinned, but she is happy and my mom is not.

I dont think thats fair...

Reply to KC
Posted by: Male23 | 2005/07/04

i feel about the same as Joanne E about it. I think you should read the following:
There are two types of adultery spoken of in the Bible:
An adulterer was a man who had sexual intercourse with a woman he was not married to, either a married woman or one who was engaged to be married. A woman who did the same thing was an adulteress. Adultery is fornication. The Bible regards adultery as a great sin and a great social wrong. It has been inferred from John 8:1-11 that this sin became very common during the age preceding the destruction of Jerusalem."

Reply to Male23
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/07/04

my 2c -

no, it does not make things right - but if you are truly repentant and truly seek forgiveness you won't want to have affairs will you?

It's not for us to judge if some one else should be happy or not - but as I have grown in my relationship with Christ I have found myself praying for the people that stress me out - and even then, they stress me out less. Obviously I cannot compare that to an affiar - but God looks at the heart and if he sees a repentant heart, he will forgive.

Reply to Joanne E

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