to leave or not?

Question

Posted by: dude | 2008/07/10

to leave or not?

hi all

well for the last few weeks, i have been thinking about leaving my gf.
i have been with her for over a year now and i thought things were going great! but in the last few weeks i have been thinking about life and stuff like that.

the reason i want to leave is because, she walks all over me.
i go shopping with her for hours, i eat where she wants to eat, go out when she goes out, dont drink and more, dont go out with my friends because she wants me to saty at home, but its ok for her to go out.
i do what ever she wants, when she wants and it has to be her way. if i do any thing for my self then she starts a fight saying that i'm going to leave her.

the other night i told her how i was feeling, she told me that the reason she wants things hre way is because with all her EX bf she always lost her self and did what ever they wanted.
i told her that she is doing the same to me! she then got really mad and told me that i'm crazy!

now i want to leave her but i dont know if i can, i love and a life without some how will not feel right.

do any of you knwow hat i can do?
leave or stay?

help

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Our expert says:

CyberShrink

So, as a reaction to having "lost herself" with previous bf's, she now expects you to "lose yourself " for her ? Maybe not a great idea. If you can't negotiate a fair compromise between you, either consider ending the relationship, or see a relationship counsellor so as to work on the problems with a skilled referee !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:

Posted by: xjf | 2008/07/10

Ouch Yani, that's harsh! (man or mouse).
Dude i agree with Yani, no one has the right to walk all over someone else. Either she needs to start respecting you or she needs to start walking.
No one can tell you to either go or stay, that is your decision. BUT things can't continue the way they are, we all deserve to be happy

Reply to xjf

Posted by: yani | 2008/07/10

a) she has issues and should have dealt with them before starting to date you, just becos ex's have made her xyz does not mean you will and she deserved to give you a chance
b) the most insecure of people come across as the most confident and incontrol so that someone you wont see how week and insecure they are
c) lastly are you a man or mouse, love is mutual and respect for one another is mutual and knowing what makes each other happy and doing stuff that you both enjoy is mutual it is 50/50
she treats you the way you allow her to treat you stand up for yourself because if she loves you she will do just as much to please you as you do for her

Reply to yani