Posted by: Sybrand | 2004/10/18

To: Joe

Hi Joe

Hope you still out there, just for intrest sake how old are you ? I'm 22 I have lost my father to canser and is now seporting my mother I'm gay and still surviving life's not all fun and games boet but we take it one step at a time live every day as its your last (dont make it your last) I felt the same way a while back, the man I loved left me I almost lost every thing I had. Life was getting me down. One day I was driving down the high way and said to my self lets just end it here and now. But I could not do it I have frends and family that love me and I am a smart handsome young man Life will not get me down. I went out got a new job got a new car and a new place to stay and as the saying go's a change is as good as a holiday is true. 2day I am still singel but I dont care what the in world comes my way I grab it with 2 hands and live with it that's life boet its hard but we are TUFF BITCHES. So dont be a piss cat its not the way out just now u end up in a whealchair or u are a veggie because your "kill my self" plan went wroung.
Best of luck hope you reply I would like to speak some more.


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Our expert says:
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Sounds very sensible, Sybrand

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wikus | 2004/10/20


Wel ek is bly jy om van jou te hoor onthou ek sal altyd hier wees so lank ek 'n computer het. Wie weet miskien loop ons mekaar nog raak erens en drink 'n dop saam hang net af waar jy bly. Beste wens op jou pad van die lewe ek sal aan jou dink en jy sal in my gebede wees.


Reply to Wikus
Posted by: Joe | 2004/10/20


Baie dankie vir jou nice woorde. Ek lewe al 31 jaar saam myself en het 'n goeie coping meganisme. Die laaste ding wat ek wil he is dat iemand jammer vir my moet voel. Ek voel nie jammer vir myself nie. Ek het 'n goeie lewe.

Wonderlike ouers en ek voel dankbaar wat ek kon doen vir hullle. Het kak besluite geneem oor liefde in my lewe. Ek het nice werk en wonderlike vriende. Wat meer wil ek he?

Dit vra ek myself elke dag af. Eks regtig moeg. Moeg om te soek na die perfekte lyk (ja ek weet ek is vain). Worry oor wit man te wees. Dreading die dag as ek moet huis toe gaan en iets het met my ouers gebeur. Moeg om voor te gee ek geniet alles hier - 'n gejaag na wind.

Maar moenie worry nie. My tyd is nog nie hier nie.


Reply to Joe
Posted by: Wikus aka Sybrand | 2004/10/19

Hi Johan ek is jammer ek het een van my friende verloor wat sy lewe in sy eie hande geneem het en nou haal ek dit op jou uit ek is jammer. Ek wens net daar was iemand wat jou kon by staan ek wens ek was daar om jou by te staan. Dit is so onragverdag dat die lewe 'n mens so 'n slegte hand kaarte kan deel as 'n mens dit dan so kan stel. Hoop jy kry die posting en dat ons nog kan praat ek dink daar is baie wat ons by mekaar kan leer.
Best Wense

Reply to Wikus aka Sybrand
Posted by: Joe | 2004/10/19


I dont want to get into a debate here. I really understand where you are coming from but statements like you are going to burn in hell is as best unasked for and condemning. I am walikng a path with God and I know he will understand my situation.


Reply to Joe
Posted by: Sybrand | 2004/10/18

Why are you living in the past my frends are dead so they are gone bye bye time to move on its your life boet no use crying over spilt milk a broken hart wil never mend unless you mend it.
Why the f*ck are u so conserned about how you look love your self for you are. it makes life a sh*t lode better. I'm no exspert but GOD put u on this earth for a reson and boet if u end it Hes sure as hel going to let your ass burn in hel and that is much worst then the shit your in now I think you need a holiday away from work frend family and MEN take time to reflect on your life and draw up a plan A PLAN FOR A BETTER LIFE. Its not worth it boet. I dont know u from a bar of soap but u are better then this that I promis you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Sybrand
Posted by: Joe | 2004/10/18

Hi Sybrand

Thank you for your message. I really appreciate your comments and yes you are very sensible.

I have however made peace with myself about this. I am tired constantly worrying about how I look, what to eat, providing for my parents, being single, going to work, doing the same things over and over..... GAAP!

What is the use. My friends are busy dying of AIDS or already dead. I met a guy fell head over heals and why? He is involved, he is still in love with the guy. He uses me for weird sex taking it with drugs. And today my mind was with him the whole day.

Do I want to go on like this forever? No. Like Robbie Williams sing I dont want to live but I dont want to die as well.


Reply to Joe

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