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Question
Posted by: Angie | 2007/04/16

To Foxybrown

She was 19 when she met him, he was 36 yrs. She just wanted to have a baby with him. Fell pregnant, got married had a miscarraige cause she was taking drugs. THey moved away to Dbn. Fell pregnant again and she moved back to Jhb. So she left my husband ! She also just divorced about 1 1/2 yrs ago - ex husband was also much older than her. I think he was 34 ??

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Posted by: Angie | 2007/04/17

Thx Foxybrown !!

Reply to Angie
Posted by: Foxybrown | 2007/04/16

Yes its just as I thought, she was a teenager and your hubby was 16 yrs older. If it is her who left your husband then her behaviour is doubly unreasonable. perhaps she realises that its not easy raising a child alone. Or maybe she did indeed just want a child with your husband (but why marry him?) and then has realised it might have been a better deal to stick with the guy. Nonetheless I believe she is better off without him as I really think your hubby it a biit of a strange guy, you will excuse me for being brutally honest, it is something I specialise in. This young aldy also appears to have father figure issues. Very often when women are perpetually drawn to older men it is a silent cry for a father figure in their lives and is a result of somehow being deprived of a father figure in childhood or having an unsatisfactory or abusive father figure. Chances are this young woman will always be drawn to older men. And she will always be pretty enough for them, but not emotionally mature enough. There is some sort of validation she is looking for and instead of finding it in herself, she is looking for it in the arms of much older men.

I must add you are also fairly junior compared to your hubby but you had your own reasons for marrying this man and we don't need to do an exorcism of the past or be overly critical of your choice of husband; its more important to deal with the present dynamics.

I really feel for you and hope things come right soon.

Reply to Foxybrown

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