Posted by: Friend | 2005/11/29

To FIO and Jakes: Forgiveness

To FIO and Jakes

It took me 8 years to forgive. Forgiveness is a process and there is no magic formula to rush it. All those feelings you are feeling is absolutely normal and it is important to go through each of the phases that one goes through after a loss or divorce. In my case, my husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with my son. He allowed the girlfriend to terrorize me and I ended up in the hospital almost losing the baby. I divorced him 2 months after the baby’s birth and he left the house 2 weeks after the baby’s birth. The girlfriend was so nasty she even sent me flowers to the hospital after giving birth to my baby boy, just to remind me of her presence during this special time. I raised my 2 sons alone in extremely difficult circumstances, financially and emotionally, because I suffered from post natal depression and eventually tried to commit suicide. My stomach was pumped out and that saved my life. My baby later developed tuberculosis and without a medical aid I had to go the state clinic every month to get the pills. There was no syrups available, so I had to crush the pills and give it to him that way. My ex did not pay any maintenance for 2 years, but I went to an attorney and now I get it each month. My life changed when I met my new husband, we married 2 years ago, have a lovely baby girl and we are extremely happy together. My stepdaughters make it difficult some times, but I won’t let the negatively that in fact comes from their mother get me down. I will win them over with love and goodness. I believe that hardship makes a person stronger and eventually you will become a wise person with real inner peace. I lost something, but I gained much more. When one door closes, another one opens. Be patient and in time, your life will change too.

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Our expert says:
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Friend, thanks for telling us your own heartening story, and for reminding us of how we can triumph even over situations that look hopeless

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Our users say:
Posted by: !!! | 2005/11/29

When reading your post I almost felt the pain that you went through and here you are all strong and happy.

I am really happy for you and you are right you are going to win your step daughter if you were my step mom, I'd thank God for having you in my life.

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Posted by: figured it out | 2005/11/29

Absolutely. Its this awareness and knowledge of what does lie ahead that gives strength. Unfortunately many people do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. But no matter how much is at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel still has to be negotiated.

I am thrilled you have achieved so much, been through so much, and have this new life. You rode the storm, took the challenges, we still have to do that, or should I say we are doing that.

So its never that the future is bleak, its more like the present thats kak!

Good luck for all you have lying ahead of you, and well done for all you have achieved. You deserve the happiness you have!

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/11/29

Thanks, your nic says it all - would like to keep it that way!

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